October 11, 2010

Things God does for us. Psalm 103. Check it out!

1. He pardons all your iniquities
2. He heals all your diseases.
3. He redeems your life from the pit.
4. He crowns you with loving kindness and compassion.
5. He satisfies your years with good things.
6. He performs righteous deeds and judgments.
7. He makes known His ways to you.
8. He is compassionate and gracious; slow to anger and abounding in loving kindness.
9. He will not always strive with us or keep his anger forever.
10. He does not deal with us according to our sins, or reward us according to our iniquities.
11. He removes our transgressions from us.
12. He has compassion on us like a father, on those who fear him.
13. His loving-kindness is from everlasting to everlasting (that’s a long time)
14. His righteousness is to the children’s children who keep His covenant.

Thought for the week: An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

-- John Buchan

Funny for the week: "Census Taker"

An old man was sitting on his porch, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in his hand.

"What are you selling, young man?" he asked.

"I'm not selling anything, sir," the young man replied. "I'm the census taker."

"A what?" the man asked.

"A census taker. We are trying to find out how many people are in the United States."

"Well," the man answered, "you're wasting your time with me; I have no idea."

Census or Sense taker?....... Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer:

5. A “manger” is a:

a. Stable for domestic animals

b. Wooden hay storage bin

c. Feeding trough

d. Barn

This week’s question:

6. Which animals does the Bible say were present at Jesus’ birth?

a. Cows, sheep, goats

b. Cows, donkeys, sheep

e. Sheep and goats only

d. Miscellaneous barnyard animals

e. Lions, tigers, elephants

f. None of the above

October 4, 2010

“Let no one say he is tempted by God…” James 1:13

A solicitation to evil is never from God, but from within the man – his own inner lusts. Sin begins with an inward lust. When a temptation is presented, it entices the lust within a person. The lust then dwells on the temptation causing the person to respond in the direction of the temptation. “Carried away.” A sin begins in the heart and thoughts of a person, drawing that person into an action which is the outward manifestation and proof of the inward decision. Lust, like a baby, is conceived and grows inside, seemingly unknown at first until it is full term. Then is dramatic “painful” form, it comes to light. The sin when born has a life of it’s own which continues to maturity ultimately bringing death to the very one who birthed it. Be sure, your sin’s will find you out, and kill you. You think about that, Amen.

Thought for the week: I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. --- Mahatma Gandhi

Funny for the week: "Lost Pigs"

Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later by a computer tech into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the tech called the farmer directly.

"Is it true Mr. (Smith) that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked.

"Yeth." lisped the farmer.

Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered:

"Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs."

How Boar-ing…………….Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer:

4. Jesus was delivered in a:

a. Stable

b. Manger

c. Cave

d. Barn

e. Unknown *No word about it. See Luke 2:7

This week’s question:

5. A “manger” is a:

a. Stable for domestic animals

b. Wooden hay storage bin

c. Feeding trough

d. Barn

September 27, 2010

“Do two men walk together unless they have made an appointment?” Amos 3:3

To maintain a relationship two must set aside times, scheduled and planned, to converse. Not all conversation is verbal. You must spend time in the company of each other to be in relationship. Failure to make and keep a regular appointment with God results in the mind doubting, the spirit drifting and a general slide toward worldly thinking and acting. While God is always present, one still needs the discipline of setting aside a scheduled “appointment” to meet with him. Not for his sake, but for ours. We otherwise allow things to dominate our time and soon our faith and walk is affected. Do you have a scheduled appointment with your Father every day?

Thought for the week: Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box.
-- Italian Proverb

Funny for the week: "Meatloaf"

A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears.

"Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandma's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?"

Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out."

"Okay," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out, 'Take fifty cents worth of ground beef'…………."

Ok, and what color was her hair?....... Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer:

3. What did the Innkeeper tell Mary and Joseph?

a. “Come back after the Christmas rush and I should have some rooms.”

b. “I have a stable you can use.”

c. “There is no room in the Inn.”

d. Both b and c

e. None if the above No word about the innkeeper. See Luke 2:7

This week’s question:

4. Jesus was delivered in a:

a. Stable

b. Manger

c. Cave

d. Barn

e. Unknown