March 15, 2010

Today I would like to share some “Spiritual Food for Thought” taken from the Tar Heel Gideon. It is written by Ted Self.

1. Give God what is right, not what is left
2. “Pray” is a four letter word that you can say anywhere (except in a public school)
3. Man’s way leads to a hopeless end. God’s way leads to an endless hope.
4. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
5. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
6. To be almost saved is to be totally lost.
7. We’re too blessed to be depressed.
8. Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.
9. God loves everyone, but probably prefers “fruits of the spirit” over “religious nuts.”
10. God grades on the cross, not the curve.
11. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come on into church for a faith lift.
12. Prayer – don’t give God instructions – just report for duty.
13. God doesn’t want shares of your life, He wants controlling interest.
14. Don’t wait for six strong men to take you to church.
15. A family altar can alter a family.
16. We don’t change the message, the message changes us.
17. This Church is “Prayer Conditioned.”
18. When God ordains, He sustains.
19. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
20. Most people want to serve God – but only in an advisory capacity.
21. Having truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
22. Exercise daily – walk with the Lord.
23. Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
24. Wisdom has two parts: A) Having a lot to say. B) Not saying it.
25. Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive.
26. Watch your step carefully. Everyone else does.
27. A clean conscience makes a soft pillow.
28. Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it.
29. You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
30. He who is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
31. Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
32. He who angers you controls you!
33. Worry is the darkroom in which “negatives” are developed.
34. Give Satan an inch and he’ll be a ruler.
35. Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
36. Be ye fishers of men, you catch them, He will clean them.
37. Deciding not to choose is still making a choice.
38. God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
39. If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!

Thought for the week: Normal is:

"Normal" is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.

Funny for the week: Sign Fun*

On a California freeway:
Fine for Littering

In the window of an Atlanta clothing store:
Sid's Pants is Open

On the wall of a British Columbia cleaning service:
Able to Do the Worst Possible Job

In a New York jewelry store:
Genuine Fauz Pearls

In a Kansas City oculist's office:
Broken Lenses Duplicated Here

In a Boston fast-food parking lot:
Parking for Drive-Through Customers Only

Billboard on Florida highway:
If You Can't Read, We Can Help

On the Triborough Bridge in New York:
In Event of Air Attack Drive Off Bridge

On a Lockhart, Texas, gas station and minimart:
We're out of Rolaids, but we've got gas.

At the basketball court in a Gastonton, North Carolina, YMCA:
Anyone caught hanging from the rim will be suspended

On the door of an Ellsworth, Maine, restaurant:
The Indian Trading Post will be closed for Yom Kippur

In a Grand Rapids restaurant:
Half baked chicken

In a Dayton barbershop:
During vacation of owner, a competent hair stylist will be here

On a Jacksonville, Florida, bookstore:
Rare, out-of-print, and nonexistent books

On a library in Marlboro, New Hampshire, honoring Robert Frost:
Frost Free Library

Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Not counting the author of Hebrews, how many men are responsible for writing the books of the New Testament? 8 – Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Paul, Peter, James, Jude.

This week’s question: Who sacrificed to God 22,000 oxen and 120,00 sheep?