April 28, 2008

"Among you, whoever wants to be great must become the servant. And whoever wants to be first must become the servant. And whoever wants to be first must become the servant of all. For the Son of Man himself did not come to be served but to help others." Mark 10:43-45

"Oxymoron: a combination of contradictory or incongruous words" (Webster's) Read the verse above again and find the oxymoron. In God's Kingdom, the way to the top is to first go to the bottom. There is no place for those who believe and act like they are better than others. The way to be honored is to willingly become a servant. American culture tells us to seek our own interests first. Jesus tells us to seek the best interest of others first. If you spend a lifetime seeking and striving only for yourself, you may become an American success story. But in God's eyes, your life will be an irrelevant waste. Spend a lifetime serving others in the name of Christ and through all of eternity you will be honored by your Heavenly Father. You go figure. A few moments glory here that is irrelevant waste or forever glory there. How's your serve?

Thought for the week: Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. -- Flannery O'Connor

Funny for the week: "Lawn Burglars"

Brookpark, Ohio: Burglars recently broke in to an unoccupied house that was being renovated for sale. Among the items they stole were roofing shingles, a lawn mower, weed whackers, and lumber.

They broke into a storage area under the deck and also a shed in the back. Before leaving, though, they mowed the lawn of the residence.

Neighbors report seeing strange men walking around the home, but they never called the police because they figured the men were hired to do the lawn.

The owners are quoted as saying they will leave a pressure washer and painting equipment for the thieves next week as they did a better job than the lawn care company they had hired, and they were cheaper also.

Truth is often stranger than fiction………..Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: How many "fruits of the spirit" are listed in Galatians? 9 (Gal 5:22)

This week’s question: Was Jesus ever circumcised? Yes (Luke 2:21)

April 21, 2008

"Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive." Colossians 3:13

I believe the two most important words in the human relationship language are "I'm sorry." Why do we find it so hard to apologize? We exhaust ourselves with convoluted reasoning why we are right and the other person is wrong. We mull over the offense, slipping deeper and deeper into resentment and anger. We isolate ourselves from the person, carefully avoiding them. We retaliate verbally, making sure our friends are aware of the other person's offense toward us. All that energy and emotional trauma when you could simply go to the person and apologize for your attitude. If you would you would feel like a burden has been lifted and then you would be able to enjoy life again. But then maybe some of us world rather sulk in our room of unforgiveness and resentment. What a shame and waste, especially when Jesus commanded us in the verse above to forgive. Try it! Say "I'm sorry." It won't kill you, in fact, it may lengthen your life.

Thought for the week: We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic. -- David Russell

Funny for the week: "Deacon's Minutes"

The newly elected secretary for the Deacon Board at church submitted this report:

October the something Deacon's meeting

Present was most of the deacons; one was absent.

Chairman Tad asked Luke to say something, and he did.

New officers were needed; some of us were arm twisted into taking the positions.

Some old business was remembered, and most of it had been approved. What wasn't was not important.

We tried to think of some new business, but it was decided that we're too old to be new.

Some of the deacons were getting tired so we decided to get out of the meeting.

(Secretary's note: I said I would type the meeting minutes; not that they would be worth a hoot!!)

Man that sounds familiar…………………….. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Who was Uriah’s wife? Bethsheba (2 Sam 11:3)

This week’s question: How many "fruits of the spirit" are listed in Galations?

April 14, 2008

"Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day nearing." Hebrews 10:25

Are you an encourager? Story is that little Johnny wanted badly to be in the 4^{th grade class play. His mother was worried, knowing he was not a very good actor. However, when she picked him up at school, Johnny was excited! "Mom, I got a part! I've been selected to sit in the audience and clap and cheer!" How well do you sit in the audience and clap and cheer someone when something good happens to them? We often find it easier to minister to those hurting than those who are having good fortune. Do you find it hard celebrating with someone who has been blessed? Ask God to use you in one of His more wonderful blessings; to go to someone who has been blessed and from your heart to clap and cheer for them. To do so really takes grace from God. If you find it hard to do, thank Him for humility to encourage others and not covet their good fortune for ourselves. Find someone who has received a blessing today and clap and cheer for them. I dare you!}

Thought for the week: In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these. -- Paul Harvey

Funny for the week: Married Man

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after three in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you threw-up in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!'"

Who said miracles don’t happen…………….Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Which King required a year’s beauty treatment for all applicants to be his queen? Ahasuerus or Xerxes (Esther 2:12)

This week’s question: Who was Uriah’s wife?

April 7, 2008

"You did not choose me, I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name." John 15:16

Has God answered any of your prayers lately? How do you know when God answers a prayer? If we are having problems seeing answers, one reason may be that we are way to vague in our prayers. Instead of specific request we pray in generalities. "Bless everyone." "Help this person." These prayers are so general that we wouldn't know if God answered them or not. Why not start a practice of specific prayer? If someone is sick, ask God to heal them. If there is a need in your life, ask God to specifically meet that need. If someone is lost, ask God to save them. Ask specifically, and write that request down and date it. Then you will be delighted how often God specifically answers your prayers. The verse above says that if we abide in Christ, we have the things we ask for because we will be asking for the right things. Oh, one last point. Remember, no is an answer too.

Thought for the week: The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not. -- Eric Hoffer

Funnies for the week: "Computer Repair"

An office technician got a call from a computer user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that her computer needed to be brought in and serviced.

He told her, "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I'll fix it for you."

About ten minutes later she showed up at his door... with the electrical cord in her right hand.

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"Found Cell Phone"

When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at "Mom" and pushed send. His mother answered, and I told her what happened.

"Don't worry," she said, "I'll take care of it."

A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was "Mom."

"Martin," she said, "you left your cell phone at the convenience store."

Now that will teach him to be careless……Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What restriction did God put on Satan’s torment of Job? That he was not to harm Job himself. (Job 1:12)

This week’s question: Which King required a year’s beauty treatment for all applicants to be his queen?