December 27, 2010

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Little did Jeremiah know thousands of years ago that when he penned that verse, he would bring so much comfort to a burned out minister in the 20^{th century. God gave my wife and me that verse when we left our church in 1991 with no job and no promise of one. But was he ever faithful. He met our needs and gave us a spiritual family to love and support us. Many times I have asked God what is going on in our world and my life and many times he has declined to answer. If he gave us a "divine blueprint" that explained everything he has done, is doing and will do, there would be no need for faith. Instead he reminds us to trust him and he will show us later. As we approach the new year, we do not know what it holds. But if we have placed our faith in Jesus Christ, we know who holds the future. And, he is faithful.}

Thought for the week: "Worry is interest paid in advance for a debt you may never owe."

Funny for the week: "Murphy's Laws of Parenting"

- The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

- The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

- The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

- A sure way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

- For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

- Toys multiply to fill any space available.

- Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.

- If the shoe fits ... it's expensive.

- Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.

How true how true……………Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer:

16. Joseph took the boy Jesus to Egypt:

a. To show him the pyramids

b. To teach him the wisdom of the pharaohs

c. To put him in a basket in the reeds by the river

d. Because he dreamed about it See Matthew 2:13

e. To be taxed

f. Joseph did not take Jesus to Egypt

g. None of the above.

This week’s question:

Hope you have enjoyed these Christmas questions. We end with this one.

17. Where do we find the Christmas story in order to check up on all these ridiculous questions?

a. Matthew

b. Mark

c. Luke

d. John

e. All of the above

f. Only a and b

g. Only a and c

h. Only a, b, and c

i. Only x, y, and z

j. Aesops Fables

December 20, 2010

One of my favorite books is Max Lucado’s little book, Cosmic Christmas. I have used these quotes from that book before, but some things are just worth repeating. Hope you enjoy them as we near the Christmas Season

"And she gave birth to her first-born son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." Luke 2:7

"So this is He. Immanuel. So this is God's gift. A Savior. He shall save His people from their sins. 'Worthy is the Lamb.' I whispered, as I knelt before my God. My heart was full. I turned to Mary as she cradled her child and I spoke. It didn't matter that she couldn't hear me. The stars could. All of nature could. And most of all, my King could.

'Do you know who you hold, Mary? You secure the Author of grace. He who is ageless is now moments old. He who is limitless is now suckling your milk. He who strides upon the stars, now has legs too weak to walk; the hands which held the oceans are now an infant's fist. To Him who has never asked a question, you will teach the name of the wind. The Source of language will learn words from you. He who has never stumbled, you will carry. He who has never hungered, you will feed. The King of creation is in your arms.'

'What manner of love is this?' Michael whispered, and again we were covered with silence. A blanket of awe. Finally, Michael again opened his mouth, this time to sing. He began quietly, pausing between the words.

'Glory,

glory,

glory to God in the highest.'

One by one we joined.

'Glory, glory, glory to God in the highest.'

Gradually the chorus grew louder and faster; 'Glory, glory to God in the highest. Glory, glory to God in the highest. Glory, glory to God in the highest.'

Our praise rose into the realms of the universe. In the most distant galaxy the dust on the oldest star danced with our praise. In the depths of the ocean, the water rippled with adoration. The tiniest microbe turned, the mightiest constellation spun, all of nature joined with us as we worshiped Immanuel, the God who had become flesh."

Cosmic Christmas by Max Lucado pages 95-97

Thought for the week: "I put all my money into taxes; that's the only thing that's sure to go up."

Funny for the week: "Eye Exam"

Eye-examination charts vary according to the manufacturer, but one thing they have in common is that they don't spell anything.

One day a patient came into my office for an ophthalmological exam. I asked him to read the 20/40 line of the eye chart, but obviously the letters FZBDE were mostly a blur to him. Finally he ventured a guess.

"I can't pronounce his name," the man said, "but I think he played football for Notre Dame."

Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer:

15. Who told Mary and Joseph to go to Bethlehem?

a. The angel

b. Mary’s mother

c. Herod

d. Alexander the Great

e. Caesar Augustus See Luke 2:1-4

g. None of the above

This week’s question:

16. Joseph took the boy Jesus to Egypt:

a. To show him the pyramids

b. To teach him the wisdom of the pharaohs

c. To put him in a basket in the reeds by the river

d. Because he dreamed about it

e. To be taxed

f. Joseph did not take Jesus to Egypt

g. None of the above.

December 13, 2010

One of my favorite books is Max Lucado’s little book, Cosmic Christmas. I have used these quotes from that book before, but some things are just worth repeating. Hope you enjoy them as we near the Christmas Season

"Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose was Joseph, of the descendant of David, and the virgin's name was Mary." Luke 1:26-27

"On a wave of worship I (Gabriel) flew, this time alone. I circled through the clouds and over the ground. Below me was the city where Mary was born. The Father was right; I knew her in an instant. Her heart had no shadow. Her soul was as pure as any I've seen. I made the final descent. 'Mary.' I kept my voice low so as not to startle her. She turned but saw nothing. Then I realized I was invisible to her. I waved my wings before my body and incarnated. She covered her face at the Light and shrank into the protection of the doorway.

'Don't be afraid,' I urged. The minute I spoke, she looked up toward the sky. Again I was amazed. I praised my Father for His wisdom. Her heart is so flawless, so willing. 'Greetings. God be with you.' Her eyes widened, and she turned as if to run. 'Mary, you have nothing to fear. You have found favor with God. You will become pregnant and give birth to a son and call His name Jesus. He will be great. He will be called the Son of the Highest. The Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David; He will rule Jacob's house forever - no end, ever to His kingdom.'

Though she was listening, she was puzzled. 'But how? I've never slept with a man.'

Before I spoke I looked up into the heavens. The Father was standing, giving me His blessing. I continued, 'The Holy Spirit will come upon you, the power of the highest hover over you; therefore, the child you bring to birth will be called Holy, Son of God. Nothing, you see, is impossible with God.'

Mary looked at me then up into the sky. For a long time she gazed into the blueness, so long that I, too, looked up. Did she see the angels? Did the heavens open? I do not know. But I do know when I looked back at her, she was smiling.

'Yes, I see it all now: I'm the Lord's maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say.'

As she spoke, a Light appeared in her womb. I glanced at the vial. It was empty."

(Cosmic Christmas by Max Lucado pages 62-66)

Thought for the week: "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." - Charles Caleb Colton

Funny for the week: Bluegrass Clippings - The Night　 Before　 Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas & out on the ranch　
The pond was froze over & so was the branch.　
The snow was piled up belly-deep to a mule.　
The kids were all home on vacation from school　　
　
And happier young folks you never did see　
Just all sprawled around a-watchin' TV.　
Then suddenly, some time around 8 o'clock,　
There came a surprise that gave them a shock!　
　
The power went off, the TV went dead!　
When Grandpa came in from out in the shed　
With an armload of wood, the house was all dark.　
"Just what I expected," they heard him remark.　
　
"Them power line wires must be down from the　
snow.　
Seems sorter like times on the ranch long ago."　
"I'll hunt up some candles," said Mom.　
"With their light, And the fireplace, I reckon we'll make out all　
right."　　
　
The teen-agers all seemed enveloped in gloom.　
Then Grandpa came back from a trip to his room,　
Uncased his old fiddle & started to play　　
That old Christmas song about bells on a sleigh.　
　
Mom started to sing, & 1st thing they knew　
Both Pop & the kids were all singing it, too.　　
They sang Christmas carols, they sang "Holy　 Night,"　
Their eyes all a-shine in the ruddy firelight.　

They played some charades Mom recalled from her youth,　
And Pop read a passage from God's Book of Truth.　　
They stayed up till midnight-and, would you believe,　
The youngsters agreed 'twas a fine Christmas Eve.　
　
Grandpa rose early, some time before dawn;　
And when the kids wakened, the power was on.　　
"The power company sure got the line repaired quick,"　
Said Grandpa and no one suspected his trick.　

Last night, for the sake of some old-fashioned fun,　
He had pulled the main switch - the old Son-of-a-Gun!　
　
-anonymous　

Kind of brings a tear to the eye don’t ya think? ….Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer:

14. The wise men found Jesus in a

a. Manger

b. Stable

c. House See Matthew 2:11

d. Holiday Inn

e. Good Mood

This week’s question:

15. Who told Mary and Joseph to go to Bethlehem?

a. The angel

b. Mary’s mother

c. Herod

d. Alexander the Great

e. Caesar Augustus

g. None of the above

December 6, 2010

One of my favorite books is Max Lucado’s little book, Cosmic Christmas. I have used these quotes from that book before, but some things are just worth repeating. Hope you enjoy them as we near the Christmas Season

And she will bear a son and you shall call his name Jesus, for it is He who will save His people from their sins. Matthew 1:21

The two stood facing each other. Neither spoke. The extremes of the universe were before me (Gabriel). God robed in Light, each thread glowing. Satan canopied in evil, the very fabric of his robe seeming to crawl. Peace contrasting panic. Wisdom confronting foolishness. One able to rescue, the other anxious to condemn.

I have reflected much on what happened next. Though I have relived the moment countless times, I'm as stunned as I was at the first. Never in my wildest thoughts did I think my King would do what He did. Had He demanded Satan's departure, who would have questioned? Had He taken Satan's life, who would have grieved? Had He called me to attack, I would have been willing. But God did none of these.

From the circle of Light came His extended hand. From His throne came an honest invitation. Will you surrender? Will you return to me?

I do not know the thoughts of Satan. But I believe that for a fleeting second the evil heart softened. The head cocked slightly, as if amazed that such an offer would be made. But then it yanked itself erect.

Where will we battle? he challenged.

The Father sighed at the dark angel's resistance. On a hill called Calvary.

If you make it that far. Satan smirked, spinning and marching out the entryway. I watched as his spiny wings extended, and he soared into the heavenlies. The Father stood motionless for a moment, then turned back to the book. Opening to the final chapter, He slowly read words I had never heard. No sentences. Just words. Saying each, then pausing:

Jesus,

Nail,

Cross,

Blood,

Tomb,

Life.

He motioned toward me, and I responded, kneeling again before Him. Handing me the necklace, He explained, This vial will contain the essence of Myself; a Seed to be placed in the womb of a young girl. Her name is Mary. She lives among My chosen people. The fruit of the Seed is the Son of God. Take it to her.

But how will I know her? I asked

Don't worry. You will.

I could not comprehend God's plan, but my understanding was not essential. My obedience was. I lowered my head, and He draped the chain around my neck. Amazingly, the vial was no longer empty. It glowed with Light.

Jesus. Tell her to call My Son, Jesus.

Cosmic Christmas by Max Lucado, pages 26-30

Thought for the week: "Resurrection life is certainly not a grave situation. Try it sometime."

Funny for the week: "Florist Problem"

Some monks were running low on funds, but didn't want to close up their monastery. After much consideration, they decided to start selling the flowers they grew. Soon after opening up shop, business boomed, much to their delight. They had plenty of cash now for burlap and oatmeal and everything else good monks need.

Unfortunately, the town already HAD a flower shop. The disgruntled owner of the rival store tried everything -- having discount sales, spreading slander about the monks, and even poisoning the monks' flower beds. Unfortunately, they'd been blessed and nothing could stop their little business.

Finally, the rival shop owner sought out a much-rumored-of man: Hugh. No one knew his last name, just that he got the job done, no questions asked. After the appropriate amount of money had changed hands, Hugh went over to the friars' place, thoroughly beat them silly, and then destroyed their flower beds.

The next day, the monks promptly boarded up the windows and closed shop permanently, thus proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

I just love puns……….. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer:

13. The wise men stopped in Jerusalem:

a. To inform Herod about Jesus

b. To find out where Jesus was See Matthew 1-20

c. To ask about the star they saw

d. For gas

e. To buy presents for Jesus

This week’s question:

14. The wise men found Jesus in a

a. Manger

b. Stable

c. House

d. Holiday Inn

e. Good Mood

November 29, 2010

One of my favorite books is Max Lucado’s little book, Cosmic Christmas. I have used these quotes from that book before, but some things are just worth repeating. Hope you enjoy them as we near the Christmas Season.

Behold the virgin shall be with child, and shall bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel, which translated means, God with us. Matthew 1:23

The King walked over and reached for the book. He turned it toward Lucifer and commanded, Come, Deceiver, read the name of the One who will call your bluff. Read the name of the One who will storm your gates. Satan rose slowly off his haunches. Like a wary wolf, he walked a wide circle toward the desk until he stood before the volume and read the word: Immanuel. Immanuel? He muttered to himself, then spoke in a tone of disbelief. God with us? For the first time the hooded head turned squarely toward the face of the Father. No. Not even You would do that. Not even You would go so far.

You've never believed Me, Satan.

But Immanuel? The plan is bizarre! You don't know what it is like on Earth! You don't know how dark I've made it. It's putrid. It's evil. It's...

It is Mine, proclaimed the King. And I will reclaim what is Mine. I will become flesh. I will feel what My creatures feel. I will see what they see.But what of their sin?

I will bring mercy.

What of their death? I will give life. Satan stood speechless. God spoke, I love my children. Love does not take away the beloved's freedom. But love takes away fear. And Immanuel will leave behind a tribe of fearless children. They will not fear you or your hell. Satan stepped back at the thought. His retort was childish.

Th-th-they will too!

I will take away all sin. I will take away death. Without sin and without death, you will have no power.

Around and around in a circle Satan paced, clenching and unclenching his wiry fingers. When he finally stopped, he asked a question that even I (Gabriel) was thinking.

Why? Why would You do this?

The Father's voice was deep and soft. Because I love them.

Cosmic Christmas by Max Lucado pages 22-26

Thought for the week: 3 Ways It's All in a Name
If your name is on the building, you're rich; if your name is on your desk, you're middle-class; if your name is on your shirt, you're poor. Rich Hall

Funny for the week: "Ten Commandments"

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

He’s on to something………Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer:

12. There was snow that First Christmas:

a. Only in Bethlehem

b. All over Israel

c. Nowhere in Israel

d. Somewhere in Israel Mt. Herman is always snow covered

e. Mary and Joseph only “dreamed” of a white Christmas

This week’s question:

13. The wise men stopped in Jerusalem:

a. To inform Herod about Jesus

b. To find out where Jesus was

c. To ask about the star they saw

d. For gas

e. To buy presents for Jesus

November 22, 2010

"Happy are those who find wisdom, and those who get understanding. Long life is in wisdom's right hand, in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasantness, and all her paths are peace." Proverbs 3:13, 16-17

I still remember the day like it was yesterday. I was a young teenager helping my neighbor put up hay. We were going to unload the trailer into a small shed. He was throwing the bails off the trailer and I was to toss them on to the back of the loft. I grabbed the first bail, swung it up behind me to throw it and when I did, it hit the roof of the shed. The bail sailed back on its journey and suddenly searing pain crashed down on my bare back. I had bashed a huge red wasp nest when I hit the roof and soon they were all over my back stinging me. In life we occasionally back into a wasp's nest. It can't be helped. But to take a bail of hay and bash one, well that's dumb. God can help us avoid situations in life that sting us. Other people's quarrels, bitterness, anger, jealousy - why allow them to drag you into it? Be aware that an angry person is an active recruiter. They will try to share their anger with you, to convince you to get on their side. If you give in you'll catch yourself upset over someone else's quarrel that often has nothing to do with you. God can help you be graciously noncommittal. You can be free to serve the Lord and avoid other people’s wasp nest.

Thought for the week: "I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger."

Funny for the week: "You Know You Are Growing Old When…"

..you've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.

..the bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car ... in the "ten items or less" lane.

..you've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.

..you buy "age-defying" makeup and "anti-wrinkle" creams and believe they work.

..you've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.

..you've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic "for the last time in a generation."

I’ma getting thar……..Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer:

11. What is a Heavenly Host?

a. Angel at the gate of heaven to welcome us

b. Angel who invites people to Heaven

c. Angel who serves refreshments in Heaven

d. An angel choir

e. An angel army Definition of "Host" is a military term for army.

f. None of the above

This week’s question:

12. There was snow that First Christmas:

a. Only in Bethlehem

b. All over Israel

c. Nowhere in Israel

d. Somewhere in Israel

e. Mary and Joseph only "dreamed" of a white Christmas

November 15, 2010

AFor we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works.@ Ephesians 2:10

I am a big fan of self improvement books. My wife and I have benefited greatly from books as we work to make our marriage grow. I love to look at APopular Mechanics@ magazine and other books on how to fix things. But I have come to realize that when it comes to spiritual things, self improvement doesn’t=t work very well. We relentless try every new type of self improvement, hoping we will finally >earn= God=s love or praise. We fail to remember that it was God who gave us our personality, abilities, talents and spiritual gifts. He molded these parts together to make a unique you. Certainly you have imperfections, but why insult your creator? As the verse says, we are HIS workmanship. God made each of us and God don't make no junk. Poor English, great theology!

Thought for the week: The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.
-- Thomas Carlyle

Funny for the week: "Didn't See That Coming"

The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday.

When the day came, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness.

"What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic." her mother said.

"It's too late!" the little girl said. "I've already prayed for rain."

Naughty or nice, Santa is coming so you better watch out……… Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer:

10. What did the angels sing”

a. “Joy to the World, the Lord has come”

b. “Alleluia”

c. “Unto us a child is born, Unto us a son is given.”

d. “Glory to God in the highest…” etc.

e. “Glory to the Newborn King”

f. “My Sweet Lord”

g. None of the above They were “Saying”. See Luke 2:14

This week’s question:

11. What is a Heavenly Host?

a. Angel at the gate of heaven to welcome us

b. Angel who invites people to Heaven

c. Angel who serves refreshments in Heaven

d. An angel choir

e. An angel army

f. None of the above

November 8, 2010

“Pray without ceasing.” I Thessalonians 5:17

“Prayer which takes the fact that past prayers have not been answered as a reason for languor, has already ceased to be the prayer of faith. To be prayer of faith, the fact that prayers remain unanswered is only evidence that the moment of the answer is so much nearer. From first to last, the lessons and examples of our Lord all tell us that prayer which cannot persevere and urge its plea importunately, and renew itself again and again and gather strength from every past petition, is not the prayer that will prevail.” William Arthur

Thought for the week: Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed. -- Elbert Hubbard

Funny for the week: Nun Shopping

The convent had been presented with a new car, a red Mini Metro, the pride of its breed. Sister Lourdes, the only qualified driver, became the chauffer for all and sundry. Every Saturday she would drive Reverend Mother into town for the shopping.

All went well until Bank Holiday weekend when the town was so packed with people and cars that is became evident that there was no earthly place to park.

"Don't worry, Reverend Mother," said Sister Lourdes. "You go into the supermarket and I'll drive around the block until you come out."

Off sped the car, and the Reverend Mother bustled around the store shopping quickly, then rushing back to the curbside.

There she stood for five minutes, ten, twenty. No sign of Sister Lourdes. Where could she be?

Eventually the Reverend Mother approached a patrolling policeman.

"Excuse me, Officer," said she, Have you seen a nun in a red mini?"

"No," replied the officer, "but these days nothing would surprise me!"

He’s been on the beat too long……. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer:

9. What “sign” did the angel tell the shepherds to look for?

a. “This way to baby Jesus”

b. A star over Bethlehem

c. A baby that doesn’t cry

d. A house with a Christmas tree

e. A baby in a stable

f. None of the above See Luke 2:12

This week’s question:

10. What did the angels sing”

a. “Joy to the World, the Lord has come”

b. “Alleluia”

c. “Unto us a child is born, Unto us a son is given.”

d. “Glory to God in the highest…” etc.

e. “Glory to the Newborn King”

f. “My Sweet Lord”

g. None of the above