March 31, 2008

"The Lord does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. As far as the East is from the West, so far he removes our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:10,12

Do you believe in ghosts? How about the ghosts of sins past? Now there is a frightening thought. I believe all of us have a room in our mind where lurk the ghosts of past sins. The problem is that we sometimes visit that room, sit down and relive, rehash and re-blame ourselves for past mistakes. We have all done things we are totally ashamed of. If you are like me, you will say, "But I have asked God to forgive me a hundred times!" But have you asked God to help you forgive yourself? God forgave you the first time you asked. Forgiving ourselves is another matter. It is sad how we Christians who claim to be a people of grace find God's grace so hard to accept. Next time Satan throws a past sin in your face, try this. Write out on a piece of paper that past sin that likes to visit you frequently. Pray and ask God to forgive you one last time. Then shred the paper as fine as you can and throw it away. Then say aloud, "I am forgiven and I am free." The next time Satan brings it us, ask him "What sin?" As far as God is concerned, it is gone forever and it is about time you believed it too.

Thought for the week: Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. -- Ronald Reagan

Funny for the week: "White Gloves"

Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined give me very dry skin.

One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands with petroleum jelly and covered them with an old pair of white gloves. As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering and came into the room wearing a towel.

Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and put it on. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Well" he replied, "if you are going to be formal. So am I."

And that is a man with a sense of humor................. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What three classes of creatures did the sheet lowered to Peter in a vision contain? Animals, birds and reptiles (Acts 10:12)

This week’s question: What restriction did God put on Satan’s torment of Job?

March 24, 2008

"The mind of the righteous considers how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil." Proverbs 15:28

There is a saying\question that I have quoted for years. I do not know where it came from, but it has proved true over and over in my life. "How come there is always time to do something over, but never time to do it right the first time?" All of us have regretted times when we impulsively did or said something without considering the results. It may frustrate others, but it is rarely wrong to defer a decision. "Let me have time to think about it." Those words may save you many a heartache. I think that is what Solomon had in mind when he wrote the verse above. Before you act, stop, consider, plan and seek counsel.

Thought for the week: Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
-- Laurence J. Peter, "The Peter Principle"

Funny for the week: Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

So she got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my soda.
From Doc's Daily Chuckle and Sermon Fodder

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The real reason we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse?

You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ... It creates a hostile work environment!

Humor Nor Congress…………………….. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Name the two books in the Bible that start with the letter "G". Genesis and Galatians

This week’s question: What three classes of creatures did the sheet lowered to Peter in a vision contain?

March 17, 2008

"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid." Isaiah 12:2

Do you remember the story in Matthew 14 where Jesus walked on water? Do you remember what happened before that? Verse 22 says he ordered the disciples to get in the boat and go to the other side. Next thing they knew, they were sinking. The disciples weren't doing anything wrong; actually, they were doing exactly what Jesus told them to do. But in obeying him, they found themselves in a howling storm and full of panic. Sometimes Jesus sends us into storms. It isn't that God doesn't care. He is watching and at just the right moment he will calm the storm. If you are in a storm right now or your tired of trying to fix things, make everything better or solve all your problems; why not trust the Lord and let Him solve your problems His way and in His timing. If he sent you into a storm, He is walking along beside you on the water and will see you to the other side. If the storm is of your own making, He cares about that too. Call on his name and be not afraid. He cares for you.

Thought for the week: "In Congress someone gets up to speak and says nothing, nobody listens, and then they all disagree."

Funny for the week: A young woman sat in her stalled car, waiting for help. Finally, two men walked up to her.

"I'm out of gas," she purred. "Could you push me to the gas station?"

The men readily put their muscles to the car and rolled it several blocks. After a while, one looked up, exhausted, to see that they had just passed a filling station.

"How come you didn't turn in?" he yelled.

"I never go there," the girl shouted back. "They don't have full service.'

So glad we didn't hear what the two nice men said then.....................Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Who chose the name Mara for herself? Naomi (Ruth 1:20)

This week’s question: Name the two books in the Bible that start with the letter "G".

March 10, 2008

"I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content. I know how to be abased, I know how to abound; in any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:11-13

I was watching the Discovery Channel once and the program was on how they make those massive long bridges. I was fascinated by how much they allow for movement. I did not know concrete and steel could move that much and not crumble. To survive they have to be flexible. Are you flexible? Inflexibility causes friction with your friends, your family and your mate. It would be nice to always be right, always know what is best and always know the right answer. But life just doesn’t work that way. It takes humility to be flexible and few of us are humble. The Apostle Paul was a hard driving type A personality, and yet he learned to be flexible. Read the verse above again and compare his attitude to yours. If you are flexible, you will weather the storms. If you become inflexible, the storms will eventually break you. It's your choice.

Thought for the week: Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. -- Dan Rather

Funny for the week: A guy was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. The new guy was a wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear. "Hey, pal, what's the matter?" said the first guy.

"I’ve been had.... transferred to Los Angeles, California," the second man answered. "They've got race riots, drugs. The highest crime rate....."

"Hold on," said the first. "I've been in L.A all my life, and it’s not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world."

The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and said "Oh, thank God. I was worried to death, but if you live there and say it's ok, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"

"...Me?" said the first, "...I'm a tail gunner on a garbage truck."

I didn't know they had tail gunners on their garbage trucks........................ Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Why was the church at Laodicea criticized by God? For being lukewarm (Rev 3:14-16)

This week’s question: Who chose the name Mara for herself?

March 3, 2008

"I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4

I remember once when I was much smaller than I am now, my dad put me on top of the refrigerator, stepped back, held up his arms and said, "jump." I remember it felt so high. My head was against the ceiling and the floor looked so far away. Between me and that distant floor was my dad's arms, and his assurance, "I'll catch you, jump." Sometimes God puts us in a position like that where we have to take a leap of faith to obey him. He wants us to believe that he won't drop us. The only trouble is that even when we are facing what we know is right, Satan has a knack of scaring the heck out of us. If we could fast forward into the future, we could look back and see that God did indeed take care of us. He worked it out. Since he is already there in the future and knows, why can't we trust him in the now to carry us through what he calls us to do. Do you have fears? Call on the Lord and he will answer and deliver you.

Thought for the week: "The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way." - Josh Billings

Funny for the week: Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests .She says no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the brunette yells, ''EARTHQUAKE!!!'' Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the redhead yells, ''TORNADO!!!'' Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!'' and the blonde yells, ''FIRE!!!'''

I know I will hear about this one………………..Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: In what kind of tree did Absolom catch his hair? Oak (2 Sam. 18:9)

This week’s question: Why was the church at Laodicea criticized by God?