June 1, 2009

"For now we see in a mirror and are baffled; but someday we are going to see Him in His completeness, face to face. As yet my knowledge is incomplete, but then I shall know in full, as I have been fully known." I Corinthians 13:12

My house is decorated with beautiful pictures my wife has cross-stitched. We even have a joint venture of a clock I built and she made the face for. Beautiful works of art that tell stories and preserve memories. But if you take one of these pictures down from the wall, turn it around and hang it back up, you will have a ugly mass of colors, twisted yarn and knots that are most often un-discernible. On one side her beautiful needlework crafted in skill and meticulous work. On the other side an unattractive, disjointed and rather ugly mess of strings. The problem is that we can only see the backside of our lives. We do not share in the Master Artist's vision of producing something beautiful. God does not always share with us His specifics of what He is doing in our lives. However, He does promise us that His will for us is perfect and beautiful. He will never give us second best. Many things will happen to us in our lives that on the surface appear to be ugly and confusing. Some things will happen in our lives that we will not understand at all. We may understand later and we may have to wait until we get to heaven. But be assured, just as my wife patiently wove the thread into the cloth to create a beautiful picture, your Father is working in the background, planning and implementing events that will make your life everything He wants it to be. Be patient looking at the back side for now. One day you will grace His home as a choice work of art, just like the pictures in my house.

Thought for the week: One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.  -- Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist, part 2, 1891

Funny for the week: "School Days "

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"

"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."

"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."

"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"

"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."

"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."

"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

I remember him………………………… Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Complete the following verse: "I am the way, the truth and the life……" "No man cometh unto the Father but by me." (John 14:6)

This week’s question: What kind of wood was Noah’s ark made of?

May 25, 2009

"In God we boast all the day long, and praise his name forever." Psalm 44:8

Many years ago when I was young, ignorant and impulsive (ok, two out of three, alright?) Anyway, I used to love to test people without them knowing what I was doing. I would conclude prayer meeting and ask someone to lead in a specific prayer, such as a prayer of thanksgiving or a prayer of praise. It always amazed me how many times the person I called on would pray about and for everything except what I asked them to pray for. Especially when asked to pray a prayer of praise. How little we know of praise. Praise is simply bragging on someone. Not thanking or asking; just telling God how wonderful and awesome He is. Why would we want to do that? Because nothing gets a person or God's attention like bragging on them. And, since there is nothing greater than God, bragging on Him for who He is, is the greatest complement you can give Him. He loves for us to brag on Him and as we do a deep sense of gratitude settles in our hearts and the more we praise Him the more gratitude pushes out any complaining and selfishness we harbor. When self is finally gone, a quite confidence for the future arrives and we find ourselves bragging on Him even more. "Praise Him, Praise Him, all you little children..." After all, my Bible says that we will be praising and bragging on Him in Heaven for all eternity. Might as well get in practice now. Try it today. No thanks, no give-me, no memorized prayer. Just praise Him. Yes, this is a test!

Thought for the week: There are only two ways of telling the complete truth--anonymously and posthumously.
            -- Thomas Sowell

And how about this one: "Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever."

 

Funny for the week: "Battle Hymns"

A battle arose between the Pastor and the Choir Director of The Lutheran Church of Grace.

The first hint of trouble came when the Pastor preached on "dedicating yourselves to service" and the Choir Director chose to sing: "I Shall Not Be Moved."

Trying to believe it was a coincidence, the Pastor put the incident behind him. The next Sunday he preached on "giving." Afterwards, the choir squirmed as the director led them in the hymn: "Jesus Paid It All."

By this time, the Pastor was losing his temper. Sunday Morning attendance swelled as the tension between the two built. A large crowd showed up the next week to hear his sermon on "The sins of Gossiping." Would you believe the Choir Director selected "I Love To Tell The Story?"

There was no turning back. The following Sunday the Pastor told the congregation that unless something changed, he was considering resignation. The entire church gasped when the Choir Director led them in "Why Not Tonight?"

Truthfully, no one was surprised when the Pastor resigned a week later, explaining that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was leading him away. The Choir Director could not resist "What A Friend We Have In Jesus."

Now that would NEVER happen in a Baptist church……….right...........Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Whom did Silas replace as Paul’s traveling partner? Barnabas (Acts 15:36-40)

This week’s question: Complete the following verse: "I am the way, the truth and the life……"

May 18, 2009

"Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. But how are they to believe in one whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone to proclaim to them?" Romans 10:13-14

Last summer my family spent a week at the beach. One of the things I always notice when we stay there is how much rust there is on anything metal. The hinges on the door of the bedroom we stayed in squeaked from rust every time we opened or shut it. Other hinges on doors outside had rusted shut and no longer worked. What do you do to rusty hinges? You put oil on them. Oil lubricates the hinges and allows them to turn again. What about people who have allowed sin, past hurts and pain to rust their hearts tightly closed? God wants them to open their heart and receive His love, but they are afraid to try and receive anyone's love. Sadly, their heart's door has been closed so long that even the hinges are rusted tight. Would you let God use your words to be like oil to minister to them? Show and tell them that God loves them, more than they could possibly imagine. God gave his Son for them. Show and tell them that God will forgive their past sins that He has a wonderful plan for their lives. Tell them that you are praying for them. As God uses your gentle words to minister to them, the Holy Spirit will open the door of their heart and you will have a new brother or sister in Christ.

Thought for the week: Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.   -- Albert Schweitzer

Funny for the week: "Mom's Special Brownies"

Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr., "No, no."
Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.
Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat.
Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.

Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.

Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.

Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
Let cat out of refrigerator.
Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy.
Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away.

FROSTING Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar 
1 oz unsweetened chocolate 
1/4 cup margarine Take the darn teddy bear out of the broiler and throw it away -- far away.

Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Jr. had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street.
Put Jr. in playpen.

Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.

Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.

Tie Billy to clothesline.

Remove burned brownies from oven.

Collapse and call the baker for delivery.

Do I get an AMEN moms?...................Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: How many epistles of Peter are included in the NT? Two (1 and 2 Peter)

This week’s question: Whom did Silas replace as Paul’s traveling partner?

May 11, 2009

"Bless the Lord, O my soul,...bless his holy name. Who satisfies you with good as long as you live, so that your youth is renewed like the eagles." Psalm 103:1,5

I don't know who coined the word, "nitpick", but they must have known a relative of mine. I bet you have one in your family or circle of friends. You may even have one in your church. Nothing and I mean nothing is ever fine. The soup was too cold. The vegetables were too hot. The dessert was too sweet. The room is too warm. The couch is too soft. The sermon was boring. The music was too modern. The birthday gift wasn't what I wanted. Gripe and complain about everything. Could it be that we do that to God? God sends us blessings and we think, "Yeah, that's nice but it would have been nicer if..." I wonder if God ever wonders if anything would satisfy us? If you are honest and find that you are doing that to Him, Stop and recognize God's blessings, then make yourself thank Him. Don't allow yourself to nitpick and try to improve upon God's goodness. Choose to act like a grateful child who is filled with the joy at the goodness of your Father.

Thought for the week: Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
            -- Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson (1894)

Funny for the week: "Horse Looking "

A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled Banner was sung before the start of each game.

Then the father and son attended a church on a Sunday shortly before Independence Day.

The congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after everyone sat down, the little boy suddenly yelled out, "PLAY BALL!!!"

Bet he scared the hadies out of more than the preacher did…….Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Who was the second wife of King Ahasuerus? Esther (Est. 2:17)

This week’s question: How many epistles of Peter are included in the NT?

May 4, 2009

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, 'more from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

One of the things we dread in law enforcement is in service training. The thing we dread about in service training is the tests. We all play a game of trying to guess ahead of time what the instructor is going to ask on the test. Could it be that we do the same thing when we pray? I fear we often are guilty of trying to hedge our prayers with disclaimers. Ever prayed and then said, "It must not be God's will....I guess the time is not right...Maybe God doesn't hear my prayers?" Listen, God never told us to try and decide what His will and timing is. God told us to pray with faith, expectantly, enthusiastically eager for our Father's answer. Start today by asking God to make you a man or woman of faith and mix your faithful praying with anticipating faith. Stop trying to guess what He is doing and really believe God has the power to answer your prayer. You'll be delighted with this potent combination of answer and timing.

Thought for the week: Adventure is just bad planning. -- Roald Amundsen

Funny for the week: "New Car"

The first Sunday after my husband and I bought a new car, we parked it in the last row of the church lot, not wanting to be ostentatious.

While talking with friends after the service, my husband accidentally hit the panic button on his electronic key. Immediately our car's horn blared and its lights flashed.

Watching my husband fumble with the button, his friend teased, "Wouldn't it have been in better taste to just put a few lines in the church bulletin?"

Freud would have been proud of him…………. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What fraction of the earth’s creatures and ships are destroyed in Revelation 8? One-third (Rev. 8:9)

This week’s question: Who was the second wife of King Ahasuerus?