March 28, 2011

"The righteous man can suit his words to the occasion; but the mouth of the wicked speaks perverse things." Proverbs 10:32

I have a "friend"(used in the most general of definitions) who takes pride in the fact that they say exactly what they are thinking, when they are thinking it and any way they want to say it. Then they quickly tell you if you don't like it, you don't have to listen. I am sure you know someone who while they may not pride themselves openly in doing this, do it on a regular basis. Why is it that when we are irritated, the first words that pop out of our mouth are always cruel and hurtful? Maybe it is because the heart is the birth place of our thoughts and words and it is so deceitfully wicked. But God knows that and He helps us in practical ways to restrain and hold our words. If we allow Him, he will help us consider, rephrase and polish our words before we present them. This work of God, where He changes our words, may only take a few seconds, but it pays huge dividends. No one wants to be around a person who belittles and criticizes everyone and everything. You will benefit in all areas of you life if you will allow God to veto, substitute and polish your words. Don't be a wicked person. Be wise and righteous.

Thought for the week: It takes just three times as long to tell a lie, on any subject, as it does to tell the truth.-- Josh Billings

Funny for the week: "Found Money"

An elderly married couple who were childhood sweethearts and had settled down in their old neighborhood, are celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary. They walk down the street to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they'd shared and where he had carved, "I love you, Sally." On their way back home, an armored car drives by and a bag of money falls out of the armored car practically at their feet. Sally quickly picks it up, but they don't know what to do with it so they take it home.

There, she counts the money, and it's fifty thousand dollars. The husband says, "We've got to give it back."

She says, "Finders keepers." And she puts the money back in the bag and hides it up in their attic.

The next day, two FBI men are going door-to-door in the neighborhood looking for the money and show up at their home. They say, "Pardon me, but did either of you find any money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"

She says, "No."

The husband says, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."

She says, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."

But the agents sit the man down and begin to question him. One says, "Tell us the story from the beginning."

The old man says, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..."

The FBI guy looks at his partner and says, "Let's get out of here."

Don’t you just love old folks?...........Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Which king was identified by name by Isaiah almost a century in advance as being the man who would order the temple of Jerusalem to be rebuilt? Cyrus (Is. 44:28)

This weeks question: On which of the 6 days of creation did God create the sun, moon and stars?

March 21, 2011

"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long must I bear pain in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all day long? But I trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation." Psalm 13:1-2,5

I have been told that it takes one mile for a great ocean tanker to stop from cruising speed. I read this week that it can take as much as fifteen miles for one to make a complete turn. Being the captain of one of those massive ships must require a lot of patients. But he knows exactly what he is doing and patiently waits for the ship to respond to his commands. When God works to ease the problems in our lives, often he takes a while. He often eases our problem in increments. As Christians we can rejoice in each step knowing that our Father is indeed answering our prayers. You may be weary today wondering if God is ever going to answer your cry for help. Answers seldom come instantaneously. He can answer immediately, but he may be in the process of turning the big ship of your life away from storms into calmer seas. Be patient, thank Him and give Him time to finish the work He has begun in you. He could never forget you.

Thought for the week: “How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?”

Funny for the week: SCAM ALERT!

WARNING! READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS!

If you get an envelope from a company called the "Internal Revenue Service," DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year. Their letter claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay for the operation of essential functions of the United States government. This is untrue! The money the IRS collects is used to fund various inefficient and pointless social engineering projects. This organization has ties to another shady outfit called the Social Security Administration, who claim to take money from your regular paychecks and save it for your retirement. In truth, the SSA uses the money to pay for the same misguided make-work projects the IRS helps mastermind. These scam artists have bilked honest, hard working Americans out of hundreds of billions of dollars. Don't fall for this scam! FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

Laughter eases the pain..................Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: In what way did Paul say that Jesus was made a little lower than the angels? He had to die. (Heb. 2:6-9)

This weeks question: Which king was identified by name by Isaiah almost a century in advance as being the man who would order the temple of Jerusalem to be rebuilt?

February 21, 2011

'Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Romans 10:13

In Law Enforcement we see a lot of strange things, but this guy has serious problems. To start with, he lived in a graveyard, wore no clothes, ran around screaming at night and was in most people’s opinion, a hopeless case. Today we would don rubber gloves, wrestle him down and take him to the hospital and seek an involuntary commitment order. But Jesus didn’t have that luxury. He confronted the man, expelled the evil from him, saved and restored him. (Luke 8) I wonder how many people we have written off? We think, }He's always been this way." "She will never get saved." "He's committed such terrible sins." We in America are programmed to expect God to save "nice sinners." God doesn’t go by our expectations. He likes to reach into the pit of hell and save souls and give them a beautiful life. Maybe you have someone you have been praying for that is lost. Maybe you feel you are one of those who is too far gone to be saved. Read the verse above again. Whosoever leaves no one out. Even if it seems that you or someone you love is hopelessly bound in sin, this may be the year that you or they will come to know God's forgiveness and become a member of His family. There are no such people as "nice sinners." We are all terrible sinners and only an awesome God can forgive us. All you have to do is call (ask) Jesus to save and cleanse you, and he will do for you what he did for the wild man in the story above. No one is beyond saving. All you have to do is ask! You will be saved!

Thought for the week: "A person who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on."

　

Funny for the week: "Sunday Paper"

"Where's my Sunday paper?!" the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Ma'am," said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday."

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition, as she was heard to mutter, "Well, that's why no one was at church today!"

I feel her pain………….. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: As recorded in the book of Acts, how many disciples did the apostles choose to look after the food distribution to widows? 7 (Acts. 6:1-7)

This weeks question: What was the name of the sorcerer baptized by Philip?

March 14, 2011

"The wise person sees danger and hides; but the simple go on, and suffer for it." Proverbs 22:3

We hear it every year: "Fire two rounds and take cover." Fire and hide. Works great in fire arms training, but what about spiritual training? It seems that God first gives us His wisdom and then He gives us an inner feeling when there is trouble ahead, and then He helps us to avoid it. As Christians, we don't have to always stand up and confront a bad situation "face to face." Actually we have the inner power to avoid it and to let it pass on by. Is it a temptation, an abrasive person, a touchy circumstance, future problems in a potential relationship? The list is endless. A lot of these potential headaches can be avoided if we just duck and hide and let the problem go right by us. Yes, there will be some headaches and heartaches that are unavoidable. But many are self-inflicted and could have been avoided if we would have just ducked and hid. Flee the presence of evil. Hide. To do otherwise it to go on and suffer for it.

Thought for the week: "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." -- Victor Borge

Funny for the week: YOU NEED A NEW CAR WHEN ...

- You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind you.

- You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.

- You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get accused of stealing.

- The Blue Book lists your car under "Health Risk."

- The only thing holding your bumper on is the "Dukakis/Bentsen '88" sticker.

- You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.

- Evel Kenievel refuses a free lift.

- The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before parking your car.

- The guys at the repair shop refer you to Dr. Kevorkian.

My 81 Chevette to the "t"........Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: To whom did God say about meats, “What God has cleansed, that call not thou common.”? Peter (Acts. 10:15)

This weeks question: In what way did Paul say that Jesus was made a little lower than the angels?

March 7, 2011

"Kindly words are like drops of honey, sweet to the soul and healing to the body." Proverbs 16:24

I would like to find the person who first coined the phrase, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" and ask them if they still believe that to be a true statement. It is a lie from the pit of hell and smells of smoke. Broken bones heal, but broken hearts and spirits never heal. Many people go through life and to their grave with the memory of one insult blurted out in anger by someone they love burning in their ears and heart. Words are more destructive than guns and permanent damage is done with them. How much better if we would heed the verse above. God gave us the ability to speak encouraging kind words. When we speak words of hope and encouragement we enable others to adjust their vision from gloom and doom to hope and joy. I do not personally believe God does His greatest work through preaching great sermons. I think the greatest stuff happens one on one when God sends a message to another person through you. When you give someone a ray of hope, you experience inner joy also and have the knowledge that God used you. And, all you did was share a few kind words. WOW!

Thought for the week: "The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents."

Funny for the week: "Chinese Knitting"

Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Peyton Manning is to football. She designed exotic patterns with ease.

There was an occasion when we had lunch in a real Chinese restaurant (only one person spoke partial English, all menus were in Chinese). When she saw the handwritten menu she was so impressed with the calligraphy she tucked it in her purse.

Some months later I saw the result - a stunning white sweater with the Chinese symbols hand-stitched down the front.

She received compliments galore until at one party when we met a distinguished Chinese physician who asked my wife where she got the symbols. He then wanted to know if she knew what they meant.

"I'm afraid to ask," she said, "but tell me anyway."

Even she had to laugh when he told her they read, "This is a cheap dish - but good."

(copied off the internet)

That’ll teach her………. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What four people were brought outside the city of Sodom before its destruction? Lot, his wife and two daughters (Gen. 19:15-16)

This weeks question: To whom did God say about meats, “What God has cleansed, that call not thou common.”?