August 25, 2008

"For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God....So then, each of us will be accountable to God." Romans 14:10,12

FROM CHAPLAIN BARNES On-the-Job Inspiration, Humor Challenge and Encouragement. You are invited to copy and share these notes with others so long as it is not for profit.

One of the dangers of counseling is that the counselor often becomes a victim. If we try to play God and change the person, we end up on a dead-end street because we cannot save or change anyone, no matter how hard we try. People change when God enters their hearts and then He changes them from the inside out. If we become too sympathetic we are in danger of becoming a whipping post and blaming ourselves for their problem. "If I had done this or that..." Again, we must remember that people do what they choose to do, right or wrong. People are responsible to God and the Law for what they have chosen to do. When you see others fail, pray fervently that God will change them. Do NOT try to do God's work and Do NOT hang the albatross of guilt around your neck. Let them know you love them and care, but don't become a victim to their bad choices. You need to remain strong to encourage them, not fall in the pit with them. That's Biblical. (Suggested reading, Love Must Be Tough by James Dobson and Get Out of That Pit By Beth Moore)

Thought for the week: There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
-- Doctor Who

Funny for the week: "Resume Cover Letters"

These were taken from real Resumes and Cover Letters, and were printed in "Fortune" Magazine:

1. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet pogroms."
2. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."
4. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."
5. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."
6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."
7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people."
8. "Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."
9. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
10. "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."
11. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
12. "I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail."
13. "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in Meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
14. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
15. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."
16. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chainstore."
17. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
18. "Marital status: often. Children: various."
19. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."
20. "Finished eighth in class of ten."
21. "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."

"How embarrassing"………………. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What eight-letter word means "a falling away from God’s truth? Apostasy

This week’s question: What kind of wood was Noah’s ark made of?

August 18, 2008

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God who gives to all men generously and without scolding, and it will be given him." James 1:5

In-service training. Lt. Martin Hicks once told me that he had officers who counted their years till retirement in terms of how many in-service trainings they had left. I can believe it! But we all know why we do it. We must continually prepare mentally and physically for those times when we will be called upon to react to a threat or challenge. Have you ever thought that maybe we need to do spiritual in-service training? Instead of waiting till struggles come, we should be praying now that God will prepare us for that struggle. Try making a memory bank of certain situation where you struggle. List those places where you feel anger, fright or discontent. Then pray about them and ask God for wisdom to deal with them in advance of when they come. If you have prayed about them in advance, then when you are caught off guard, you can see the situation as a blinking caution light and ask God to help you be very careful in your words and actions. It is true that God's wisdom can be obtained from the Bible, prayer and Godly advice. But it is also true that God gives us wisdom when we learn from our past mistakes and struggles.

Thought for the week: Where facts are few, experts are many. -- Donald R. Gannon

Funny for the week: "Doctor's Orders"

A guy says to the bartender, "A glass of your finest Less, please."

"Less? Never heard of it."

"C'mon, sure you have."

"No, really, we don't stock it. What is it? Some kind of foreign beer?"

"I'm not sure. It was my doctor who mentioned it. He said I should drink Less."

And to think he votes…………… Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What is the Aramaic word for "father"? Abba

This week’s question: What eight-letter word means "a falling away from God’s truth?

August 11, 2008

"Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear Him, upon them who hope in His mercy, to deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine." Psalm 33:18-19

I have in my files at home a photo of my property that was taken from a satellite way out in space. It shows clearly the house, buildings and trees. I have been told they even have satellites that can count the shingles on my roof or read the date on a dime lying on the ground. I don't doubt it. Man has done amazing things to keep watch on this world, but he doesn’t even compare to what God does. God's vision is far greater than mans satellites. He knows the smallest detail about you, even the number of hairs on your head after you showered and washed a hand full down the drain this morning. He sees completely and totally, He knows the beginning, the end and everything in between. Yes, He saw what you did last night! Unlike our satellites, He even knows what you are thinking and feeling. He knows the joys and burdens that we all face each day. In fact, He knew them before you were even born. Life may sometimes catch us off-guard, but it never catches Him off-guard. He knows all about us and what is going on in this world and He will fix it in His time and in His way. You can take that to the bank! How then should we live?

Thought for the week: If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience. -- George Bernard Shaw

Funny for the week:

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. Business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. She began to interview young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question."

She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?" "Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I finished my very first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."

Enough said……………… Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Who is "Yahweh" another name for? Jehovah or God

This week’s question: What is the Aramaic word for "father"? Hint? Same as "daddy" or a popular secular music group of the 60’s.

August 4, 2008

"When words are many, sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his words is wise." Proverbs 10:19

We call them 10-36. The most dangerous calls our officers respond to. They involve a confrontation between two or more people who live together. Domestic violence calls are no fun! They are usually two people trying to set the other straight on an issue and neither is listening to the other. Physical violence often accompanies the exchange. How do you handle people who really, I mean really tick you off? The Bible says it is best to bite your tongue and keep your mouth shut. Easier said than done! It is a heavy burden to bear when we try to set everyone straight on the issue. We assume everybody will listen to our reasoning, but they seldom do. If you will stop for a moment and think, you put fire out with water, not gasoline. Getting into it with an irritated person is often like throwing gas on a fire. Instead why not try asking God to help you "let it go". It is much better for your blood pressure than assuming the task of convincing them. Actually, Jesus often remained quite. He knew how to keep his mouth closed. If you pray first, God can give you the wisdom to walk on the other side of the verbal street, away from an argument. But then, that takes a mighty big man or woman to do that doesn't it?

Thought for the week: The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
-- Chinese Proverb

(Oh, by the way...A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.)

Funny for the week: "Candle Help"

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met Father Flaherty.

The priest said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donvan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?"

She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Fadder."

The Father asked, "And be there any wee little ones yet?"

She replied, "No, not yet, Fadder."

Father Flaherty said, "Well, now, I'm goin' to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband."

She replied, "Oh, thank ye, Fadder." They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again and Father Flaherty asked, "Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?"

She replied, "Oh, very well, Fadder!"

The priest then asked, "And tell me, have ye any been blessed with any wee ones yet?"

She replied, "Oh yes, Fadder! T'ree sets o'twins and 4 singles, 10 in all."

He then responded, "That's wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband?"

She replied, "E's gone to Rome to blow out yer candle."

Talk about a real "birthday" candle………….. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What did Daniel correctly prophesy that Nebuchadnezzar would one day eat? Grass (Dan 4:25)

This week’s question: Who is "Yahweh" another name for?