March 1, 2010

“The angel of the Lord keeps guard around those that fear him, and delivers them.” Psalm 34:7

What do you fear? Certain people in my house fear spiders. Others fear the dark. The list of phobias is long and complicated. We all have things that cause us to become apprehensive. Some are totally incapacitated by them. Some fear is natural and good. In police work we talk about the adrenalin rush we get when facing a dangerous task as the “fight or flight syndrome.” That burst of energy is built into our system by God to enable us to respond to danger with extra energy to either run or fight for survival. All of us have it. But what about those who never come down from it and live in a constant state of dread and fear? That is not good. If left unchecked, it will eventually drain that person of all life and health and leads to an early death. When it comes to your safety, God is watching you very carefully. He knows the dangers, the traps, and the snares of life you face. God would never let Jesus die for you and then abandon you to the dangers and temptations of life. He has way too much invested in you to let you go. He gave His only Son for you! If you are troubled or frightened, ask God to help you relax. Meditate on his wonderful love and gift of his Son that he offers you. Memorize verses like Psalm 118:5-6 and say them out loud when fear stalks you. Claiming Gods promises in faith will help you stifle the feelings that control you and you can claim victory. But you have to choose, faith or feelings?


Thought for the week: When ideas fail, words come in very handy. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (He must have been a congressman…tb)

Funny for the week: Bible Study Humor

LOT'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!'

GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?' A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'

DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ? ''No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms.'

HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is? One child blurted out, ' 'Aces!'

MOSES AND THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. 'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt . When he got to the Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.'

'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his Mother asked..

'Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!'

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.'

UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.
'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.'
'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.

UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?'
Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!'

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, 'And all girls.' This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?'
Her response, 'Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!'

SAY A PRAYER

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.
'I don't need to,' the boy replied.
'Of course, you do.' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.' 'That's at our house.' Johnny explained. 'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!
Amen sister………..Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Which one of Christ’s ancestors was a harlot? Rahab (Matt. 1:1-16)
This week’s question: Complete the following verse from Psalm 136: “O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good;

February 22, 2010

I solemnly urge you: Proclaim the message, be faithful whether the time is favorable or unfavorable…” Timothy 4:2

I apologize for this MMM being late. I just got back from Haiti. Yesterday was one of those hectic mornings when you are on a mission trip. I had been putting in 20 hour days in the tropical heat and I was so tired. The day before we had ridden a bus for 10 hours from Haiti to The Dominican Republic through dust, military check-pints, poverty and odors that burned the nose. So, instead of getting up and having a quite time, I got up and immediately headed for the airport to fly home. Consequently, I did not have time to have my quite time. It was a choice I regretted. All day I was bombarded with problems and inner turmoil for which I had not taken time to prepare my heart for. Feelings battered my faith and won. Feelings say that if everything is going hunky-dory then God is near and we can relax. Faith says that God will solve our problems even when everything around us is getting worse. Living the Christian life when we “feel” God is near is wonderfully fun and easy. Being faithful when the feelings are not there, and when circumstances are tough, when we feel like we’re in a spiritual desert, that takes faith. Next time when circumstances are not favorable and you want to doubt or let you feelings tell you that God is gone and you are alone, choose to be faithful and trust. Choose to let faith overcome feelings and barge ahead believing God will do all he has promised, exceedingly abundantly more! “I believe, help thou my unbelief!!”

Thought for the week: The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. -- Horace Walpole

Funny for the week: "Sermon Feedback"

They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant.

An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the preacher had just finished his sermon. He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him how he thought the church service went.

The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer and communion times went quite well, but," he continued, "I just don't think the sermon ever got off the ground."

The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!"

AMEN sister……….. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Who cut off the ear of a high priest’s servant? Peter (John 18:10)

This week’s question: Which one of Christ’s ancestors was a harlot?

February 15, 2010

I am leaving in the morning for Haiti. So I am sending this early. Next weeks will be late. I return on the 23 and will send it the next day. I would appreciate your prayers for our safety and that my back will let me do the work. Thank you and God Bless all of you.

No. 570



MONDAY MORNING MINUTE © FROM CHAPLAIN BARNES On-the-Job Inspiration, Humor Challenge and Encouragement. You are invited to copy and share these notes with others so long as it is not for profit.




"I prefer to find my joy in the very things that are my weakness; and then the power of Christ will come and rest upon me. I am well content with these humiliations of mine, the hardships, the persecutions, the times of difficulty I undergo for Christ; for when I am weak, it is then that I am
strong." II Corinthians 12:9-10



I have scars all over my body. Where my appendix was taken out, where I had a bike wreck, where I stepped on an oyster bed barefooted, and on and on: From head to toe, I have scars from past encounters with sharp items. Bet some of you do too. But did you know your soul has scars too? A friend of mine calls them “soul scars.” You know, those areas in your life where you have been hurt, where you have failed, where God had to remove something harmful from your life, where you feel inadequate or ashamed. We all have them, but few admit it. Like models on the cover of Cover Girl Magazine, we want to look perfect to those around us, so we try to cover the scars up. But for Christians, the very scar we are trying to cover up is in fact a reminder of His victory. It is a place where He gently encouraged, strengthened and helped us release past hurts. That scar can be something He can show others, not about how good you are, but how wonderful He is. Then, when He has restored you, the positive power of God can be seen coming from Him and not us. Got any scars you can show the world today? Share God’s victory in your life with someone today.



Thought for the week: Health food makes me sick. -- Calvin Trillin



Funny for the week: The Dog Ate My Alarm Clock
According to http://www.facebook.com/l/a57d7;careerbuilder.com, a full 15 percent of workers admit to getting to the office late at least once a week. And here are some of their excuses:

I have transient amnesia and couldn’t remember my job.

I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.

Someone stole all my daffodils.

I had to go audition for American Idol.

I was trying to get my gun back from the police.



There was a rabbit traffic jam on Echo Drive………….Chaplain Barnes



Last week’s answer: Who found the Dead Sea scrolls? A shepherd boy.

This week’s question: Who cut off the ear of a high priest’s servant?

February 8, 2010

Today’s Devotion comes from Rev. Post and his devotions to college students.

"Lord, calm me down on the inside because I can't slow down on the outside!"

All of us have days that I call 'Burners' - days in which you are running and gunning, you're flush with adrenaline and your day's schedule is BRUTAL! I have learned, from my own mistakes, that there are two particular temptations on 'Burner Days'. The first is a peculiar tendency that we have to be short, even rude to others. It's almost like we feel somewhat justified, since we are loaded down. Interruptions become much more aggravating, it's like, don't these people know I'm running my tail off?! Sound familiar? :-) The other big temptation is more sneaky. College Buddies, when you are running on fumes, the Enemy can whisper a worry or concern into your ear. When this happens in the middle of a 'Burner' day, it always frightens us much more than on a normal day! Sound familiar? :-) I am no expert here, but here are two tips. First, commit EACH day to the Lord the night before....before you go to sleep, pray for the next day. Secondly, take a verse with you through a rough day, think about it, meditate on it in the middle of the madness. Sounds crazy? I dare you to try it, start with this one.

"Fear thou not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41: 10

Thought for the week: There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.
-- Muhammad Ali

Funny for the week: Perfect wife...by Perfect husband

Perfect wife... well, almost. It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they
did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.

When I got laid off from my consulting job and took "early retirement" in January, it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for health benefits that we need. She was a trained medical transcriber when we met twenty-eight years ago, and was fortunate to land a job at a local transcription house.
It was shortly after she started working at this job that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell at her when this happens. Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is not as young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when she finally does get
supper on the table.
She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.
Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger, Nancy used to be able to go up and down the stairs all day and not get tired. Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I am willing to overlook it.
Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming, or dusting. Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.
Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. Not often, mind you, but just enough for me to notice. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean when doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods than she used to have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said she had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I overlook comments like these because I realize it's just age talking. In fact, I
try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade, and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become, as they get older. My purpose in writing this is simply to suggest that you make the effort. I realize that achieving the exemplary level of showing consideration I have attained is out of reach for the average man.
However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.

Regards, Ken.

PS : Ken's funeral was on Saturday, May 17th.
Nancy was acquitted Monday, May 19.

Is that your tongue in your cheek?.....Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What nationality was Hagar? Egyptian (Gen. 16:1)

This week’s question: Who found the Dead Sea scrolls?