March 30, 2009

AEvery good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation nor shadow turning.@ James 1:17

There has been a lot in the media about lotteries and especially the power ball lotteries in other states. People win millions. One of the things they have to decide on is if they want it in installments or one payment. One million cashier check or fifty thousand a month for 20 months. It is the same amount, just different in how it is given. When we pray we are answered, but sometimes the answer is in full at one time, and sometimes it comes in installments. The blessing is the same, just given in different ways. Instantaneous blessings are awesome and wonderful to receive. However, God more often sends a blessing in steps, or installments. This is even more wonderful to receive. Sometimes we pray for someone or some thing and we become frustrated because the prayer seemingly is not being answered. But many times the prayer is being answered, just not all at once. Don't become impatient with the Lord's timing. Instead of looking for the big check, thank Him for each installment. The good and perfect gift is coming from above, but on His time schedule. But it will ALL come. He never short changes those He loves.

Thought for the week: A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. -- Jerry Seinfeld

Funny for the week: "Car Repair" Wayne, a friend of mine, owns an auto-repair business. One day a woman called to inquire when he could work on her car. "I'm not busy now," he replied. "bring it right in."A short time later, the woman pulled into the service bay, stopping her small car perfectly over the wide, deep grease pit."Wow!" Remarked Wayne. "That's great driving. Your wheels only have a couple of inches to spare on each side of the pit."She looked blankly at him and asked, "What pit?"

-- Bonus Content --

The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices.These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it.The most popular of these scams is called Social Security. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What does "Golgotha" mean in English? Place of the Skull (Matt. 27:33)

This week’s question: Who walked naked and barefoot for three years as a prophetic sign that the same would happen to Egyptians taken prisoner by Assyria?

March 23, 2009

AFaith is being sure of the things we hope for, it makes us certain of realities we do not see. Hebrews 11:1-2
I had my two year eye exam last month. I have 20-15 vision and my glasses did not need to be changed. Not bad for an old man. How well can you see? I don't mean with your physical eyes. How well can you see with your spiritual eyes. God has given each of us the ability to visualize by faith a blessing, claim it by faith, then rejoice when it comes. Sadly some Christians are severely myopic; that is they can only see things the way they are right now. They can not visualize a sick person healed, a person overcome in sin converted and living right. They can not see a hyper-critical person with a cruel tongue and mean spirit changed into a comforter and encourager. How well can you see? Do a little Aspiritual daydreaming and ask God to show you some people who are in need now changed by God's touch and grace. Faith is being SURE and CERTAIN of realities we do not see. Ask God to increase your spiritual vision today.
Thought for the week: No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately. -- Michel de Montaigne

Funny for the week: "Dear Dog"
Dear Dog, I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for the broken lamp which you did not break; the fish you did not spill; and the carpet that you did not wet; or the wall that you did not dirty with red paint.Things here at the house are calmer now, and just to show you that I have no hard feelings towards you, I am sending you a picture, so you will always remember me.Best regards,The Cat
Bonus---------------"Booty" A famous treasure hunter went out one day with all of his diving gear to search for a treasure box that was supposed to be on a sunken ship. He swam around for a while and looked where it was supposed to be, but didn't find anything.When he was walking out of the water, really close to the shore, he tripped on something. He started to dig around it and it was the treasure chest he was looking for.All this goes to prove that booty is only shin deep! Chaplain Barnes
Last week’s answer: To what race did the woman who met Jesus at the well belong? Samaritans (John 4:6-7)
This week’s question: What does "Golgotha" mean in English?

March 16, 2009

"Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Romans 10:13

In Law Enforcement we see a lot of strange things, but this guy has serious problems. To start with, he lived in a graveyard, wore no clothes, ran around screaming at night and was in most peoples opinion, a hopeless case. Today we would don rubber gloves, wrestle him down and take him to the hospital and seek a involuntary commitment order. But Jesus didn't have that luxury. He confronted the man, expelled the evil from him, saved and restored him. (Luke 8) I wonder how many people we have written off? We think, "He's always been this way." " She will never get saved." "He's committed such terrible sins." We in America are programmed to expect God to save "nice sinners." God doesn't go by our expectations. He likes to reach into the pit of hell and save souls and give them a beautiful life. Maybe you have someone you have been praying for that is lost. Maybe you feel you are one of those who is too far gone to be saved. Read the verse above again. Whosoever leaves no one out. Even if it seems that you or someone you love is hopelessly bound in sin, this may be the year that you or they will come to know God's forgiveness and become a member of His family. There are no such people as "nice sinners." We are all terrible sinners and only an awesome God can forgive us. All you have to do is call (ask) Jesus to save and cleanse you, and he will do for you what he did for the wild man in the story above. No one is beyond saving. All you have to do is ask! You will be saved!

Thought for the week: Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.
-- Niels Bohr

Funny for the week: "Cinnamon Rolls"

At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for my husband to comment on my first attempt at homemade cinnamon rolls.

After several minutes with no reaction, I asked, "If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?"

Without looking up from his paper my husband replied, "About 10 years."

Bonus---------------

"War"
As the regiment moved out, the crowd cheered. One soldier asked another, "Who are all those cheering people?"

The veteran answered, "They're the ones who aren't going."

Sharp fellow……………..Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What is Daniel’s Babylonian name? Belteshazzar (Dan. 1:4)

This week’s question: To what race did the woman who met Jesus at the well belong?

March 9, 2009

"He who listens to instructions is on the path of life, but he who hates reproof goes astray." Proverbs 10:17

While I was in College (back in the dark ages) I worked part time and during the summers at Valdese Hospital. We had a souped-up dish washer that we put those ancient stainless steel bed pans in and sterilized them. After that we put them in the refrigerator so they would be really cold when we handed them to the patient. At least that is what we were accused of doing, but we really didn't. One of my jobs was to load and unload the pan washer. Posted on a piece of paper over the washer was this warning, "Use dishwasher soap ONLY!" One night a new boy was assigned to the floor and out of ignorance he used Betadine instead of dishwashing soap. About fifteen minutes after he turned the machine on, a thick white foam began oozing out from under the door to the room. When he rushed to open the door to find out what had happened he was met with a wall of foam head high. The head nurse ordered him to go in and turn the machine off. He emerged covered head to toe with white foam. Hollywood could not have done it better! What a blessing advice is. Why would someone not want to benefit from a mistake someone else has made? We all have times when we figure we have life all figured out and we can handle everything. When we are stuck on ourselves and we think we have everything figured out we shut out a huge blessing from God. That blessing is advice. Use it!

Thought for the week: There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Funny for the week: "Cuban Prisoners"

Three cellmates in a Cuban jail compared notes. "I was jailed for coming to work late." mourned the first. "They said I was trying to upset the productivity quota."

"Me? I came to work early." said the second. "They said this proved I was a Capitalist spy."

"And I am here for always getting to work on time." added the third. "They said this proved I had an American watch."

-- Bonus Material --

"I had a dream I was trapped in an elevator with Michael Bolton, Kenny G and Yanni. And I had a gun with only one bullet."
- Dave Attell

Dream or nightmare?....................Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What musical instrument did David play? The harp. (1 Sam. 16:16)

This week’s question: What is Daniel’s Babylonian name?

March 2, 2009

"You are the light of the world...Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men..." Matthew 5:14-16

There is a lighthouse on Oak Island that has the brightest light of any lighthouse on the NC coast. It can be seen from 20 miles out at sea. Three flashes spaced one second apart every ten seconds. I know because for years I have laid in bed at the North Carolina Baptist Assembly at Caswell Beach and counted them as I drifted off to sleep. When it was built there was no electricity. The only light they had was a small lantern that the keeper would carry to the top of the lighthouse every night and place in the middle of three rows of thick prisms. The light from the lantern wasn't terribly bright, but after it was magnified three times, it was very bright. Sometimes our light may be very minor and not very bright. But God has the ability to magnify those efforts and with His added blessings your light shines in the darkness, guiding others to safety. It is amazing what good can come from our feeble efforts when we allow our light to shine through the prism of Gods love. God has been speaking to some of you to serve Him. Maybe you've been reluctant and a little self conscious to trust Him. GO AHEAD! Trust God and just watch Him magnify your service beyond anything that you have ever imagined!

Thought for the week: Mankind has a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.
-- Samuel Johnson, quoted in Boswell's Life of Johnson

Funny for the week: "Reading Glasses"

I took my 5 year old grandson to the optometrist to pick up his new glasses. The glasses were prescribed "to help him read and be able to see the computer better".

When we got back home, he got on the computer to play a game. In a few minutes he called me and said there was something wrong with his glasses.

I asked him what was the problem and he said, "I still can't read."

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"Contest"

There once was a sweepstakes that offered a shopping center as first prize.

The Supreme Court, however, ruled the contest illegal, since everyone knows you can't win a mall.

Nope, you sure can’t win em all……………………..Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Finish the following: "In all thy ways acknowledge him…" "and He shall direct thy paths."

This week’s question: What musical instrument did David play?