February 1, 2010

Many times I have counseled with people who are going through a break-up of a relationship or divorce. Most of the time there is a lot of “blame throwing”. It is so easy to see faults in others when one is in pain in a relationship. I ran across this article in “Daily Encounters” devotional which I think needs repeating.

“I have witnessed that in most failed relationships too many people play the blame-game and as long as they blame the other person for their problems, without facing what they have contributed to the breakup, there is no resolution and there is no hope for resolving the conflict.

The reality is that we are as sick--or as healthy--as the people we are attracted to.

God's Word also reminds us to live, if possible, peaceably with all people, which is implying that it isn't always possible to do this. And that it is better to live in the corner of the housetop than in a wide house with a quarrelsome partner. So when we think about what God has to say about divorce, let's not forget the many other Scriptures that apply to relationships.

Another thing I urge divorcees is to see their failed marriage as God's wakeup call for them to face and work through their character issues/weaknesses to ensure that they won't make the same mistake again for what we don't resolve, we are destined to repeat.”

Daily Encounter

Thought for the week: Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
-- Frank Zappa

Funny for the week: "62nd Birthday"

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was and I told him, "Sixty-two."

He was quiet for a moment, then he asked, "Did you start at one?"

No, she started at -9 months………..Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Fill in the blank from the Psalms 150:6 with one word: “Let everything that hath breath praise the Lord.”

This week’s question: What nationality was Hagar?

January 25, 2010

""God, Forgive Me When I Whine""

Today, upon a bus,

I saw a girl with golden hair.

I envied her, she seemed so gay,

And I wished I was as fair.

When suddenly she rose to leave,

I saw her hobble down the aisle.

She had one leg and used a crutch.

But as she passed, she gave a smile.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.

I have 2 legs, the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy.

The lad who sold it had such charm.

I talked with him, he seemed so glad.

If I were late, it'd do no harm.

And as I left, he said to me,

"I thank you, you've been so kind.

It's nice to talk with folks like you.

You see," he said, "I'm blind."

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.

I have 2 eyes, the world is mine.

Later while walking down the street,

I saw a child with eyes of blue.

He stood and watched the others play.

He seemed not to know what to do.

I stopped a moment and then I said,

"Why don't you join the others dear?"

He looked ahead without a word.

And then I knew he couldn't hear.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.

I have 2 ears, the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I'd go.

With eyes to see the sunset's glow.

With ears to hear what I'd know.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine

I've been blessed indeed, the world is mine.

Thought for the week: Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago. -- Bernard Berenson

Funny for the week: "Lost Bible"
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later a cow walked up carrying the Bible in it's mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the cow.
"Your name was written inside the cover."
I once read a story in the Bible where a donkey talked…….Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What did Simon the Cyrenian carry? Jesus’ cross. (Matt. 27:32)
This week’s question: Fill in the blank from the Psalms 150:6 with one word: “Let everything that hath _______ praise the Lord.”

January 18, 2010

If a teacup could speak:

"You admire my splendor," it said. "But you should know, I haven't always been a teacup. There was a time when I was red and I was clay. My master took me and rolled me and patted me over and over and I yelled out, 'let me alone,' but he only smiled, 'Not yet.'

"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said, "and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. ’Stop it! I'm getting dizzy,' I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, 'Not yet.'

"Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I wondered why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled and knocked at the door. I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips, as He shook his head, 'Not yet.'

"Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. ’There, that's better,' I said. And he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Stop it, stop it!' I cried. He only nodded, 'Not yet.'

"Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could see him through the opening, nodding his head saying, 'Not yet.'

"Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out and placed me on the shelf. One hour later, he handed me a mirror and said, 'Look at you.' And I did. I said, 'That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful.'

"'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurts to be rolled and patted, but if I had left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I knew it hurt and was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened; you would not have had any color in your life. And if I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't survive for very long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you.'" (Now, does God have a plan for you!)
Laugh & Lift Daily Issue


Thought for the week: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. -- Redd Foxx

Funny for the week: “Keeping Secrets”
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."
"I don't know about that," huffily answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one."
"You'll let it out some day," the man insisted.
"I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."
Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What well-known Christmas carol’s melody was written by Handel?
Joy to the World.
This week’s question: What did Simon the Cyrenian carry?

January 11, 2010

The modern jet on the runway was a beauty. It was equipped with the latest technology and weaponry. The jet could fly at supersonic speeds, and quickly race to great heights. If an enemy plane were in the vicinity, the jet's pilot could destroy that plane miles away, before the plane's pilot could even see him.

An Air Force pilot climbed into the jet and off he flew, leaving the earth far behind as he soared above the clouds. Although no one was looking, the pilot straightened himself in his seat. He was naturally proud of his jet and of himself for qualifying to fly such a sophisticated mode of transportation.

After he reached cruising altitude, the pilot heard a strange noise. He took off his helmet, and recognized the noise--it sounded like someone gnawing on rubber or plastic. Peering down below the instrument panel, to his horror the pilot saw a rat, out of his reach and gnawing on the main electrical wire between the jet's controls and its engine. If the rat were to cut through that line, the jet would careen out of control and crash immediately.

The pilot's first instinct was to descend--an emergency landing. But he had flown so far that there was not enough time to land. So he decided to ascend--maybe the rat couldn't survive at a higher altitude. The pilot put on his oxygen mask, boosted power to the jet's engine, and quickly climbed as high as he could go. Soon the gnawing sound ended. When the pilot landed safely, he found the rat--dead.

Mr. Mom’s Mailing List

Next time you find yourself in a compromising or confrontational situation; remember that like this pilot, it is better to climb higher than to descend into the mess with another person. Take the high road, you will always come out “ahead.” (Sorry for the pun)

Thought for the week: Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. -- Mark Twain

Funny for the week: "Friendship Poems"

Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, let's try this my way...just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad, I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared, we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay away from me until you are well again...I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I'll pick you up and dust you off--After I laugh my head off!

9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end.

'Why?' you may ask...because you are my FRIEND!

Hea, what are friends for?.................Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Which book tells stories about king Belshazzar? Daniel

This week’s question: What well-known Christmas carol’s melody was written by Handel?

January 4, 2010

"Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved" (Acts 16:31)

When a man is trapped in a mine, he cannot save himself. Since the man must be saved. No small amount of effort is expended to save such a man from the clutches of death. But it must be admitted, both the decision to save and the power to save rest in the hands of others.

The same thing is true in your relationship to God. The Bible says we are all "dead in trespasses and sins" (Ephesians 2:1). In other words, we are all like dead people because of our sins. "The wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23). Dead people cannot save themselves. That would be like a dead person getting up out of a grave under his or her own power. It can't be done. In fact, our whole generation is like a mass of walking dead people. We need to be saved from this generation of walking dead. As Peter said so long ago, "Be saved from this perverse generation" (Acts 2:40).

The point is, you cannot save yourself from the consequences of your sins. Only God can save you! God expended no small amount of effort to bring about salvation for people like you and me. He sent Christ into the world. And the Bible says, "It is He who will save His people from their sins" (Matthew 1:21). Christ died on a cross to pay for the sins of others. Christ rose again from the grave. He could do that because He is God. Because Christ paid the penalty for sin and then rose again from the dead, He gives others victory over death and sin. Although you cannot save yourself from sin and death, Christ can save you. "Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved" (Acts 16:31).

Contributed by Dennis J. Prutow, via Mr. Mom’s Mailing List

Thought for the week: Nothing lasts forever – not even your troubles. -- Arnold H. Glasow

　

Funny for the week: Help Wanting
Here's a job to avoid: hiring manager. See what you'd have to contend with?

The candidate answered his cell phone and asked the interviewer to leave her own office because it was a "private" conversation.

The candidate told the interviewer he wouldn't stay with the job long because he might get an inheritance if his uncle died—and the old man wasn't "looking too good."

The candidate said she couldn't provide a writing sample because all her writing had been for the CIA and it was "classified."

When the applicant was offered food, he declined, saying he didn't want to line his stomach with grease before going out drinking.

The candidate flushed the toilet while talking to the interviewer during a phone interview.

And with it his chance of a job went down the drain………..Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Who transported the letters of Paul to Philemon? Onesimus (Col. 4:7-9)

This week’s question: Which book tells stories about king Belshazzar?