September 29, 2008

"Do all things without complaining and grumbling." Philippians 2:14

She was our Physical Training instructor in Basic Law Enforcement Training and believed the old saying, "No pain, no gain." She wore a sweatshirt with the word "WHINING" written on it. Around that word was a red circle with a slash over it meaning, "NO Whining". We got the message! Whining. Everybody does it, (except the rookies in her PT class.) So, if everybody does it, what's the big deal? One of the more obvious consequences of whining is that you can become a pariah, people avoid you because they just don't care to listen to it. However, have you ever thought that whining is an indirect insult to God? Very few of us would say to God, "I really don't like the way you're doing things!" But frequent whining is saying exactly that to God. Whining can poison your relationship, alienate friends, emotionally warp your children, and the list is long and expensive. Try overcoming the evil of whining by focusing on God's goodness. The next time you are hell-bent on verbalizing your minor frustrations, start writing a blessing list. List the really "Big" ones and the "Smaller" ones. You'll be reminded of your Father's goodness and the griping will dissipate. If it doesn't, try my instructors cure - push-ups!

Thought for the week: Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.-- William Arthur Ward

Funny for the week: David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, yes, it was lost.

Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click.

"Great," David thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. And this one's even better, because it locks ..."

yep, he did…………..Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What was the garment of John the Baptist made of? Camel hair (Matt 3:4)

This week’s question: In the Beatitudes, who does Jesus say will be satisfied (or filled)?

September 21, 2008

"The Lord is near to those whose heart is broken and He saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

I can still remember it like yesterday. I stood with my hands locked in the chain link fence while tears of pain ran down my face. The ground shook and the deafening roar of the jet engines drowned out my cry and the huge airplane lifted off the Charlotte Douglas runway. On board that plane was the girl I had just given my heart to and asked to marry me. She was on her way back to Texas where she was in school. I had to remain here. We would see each other again at the next break, but in the mean time, the separation was agony. The Bible tells us that our Heavenly Father performs a special miracle in these times of misery. He could build a protective umbrella around us, to shield us from any and all hurts. Instead, the tenderness and kindness of God is clearly seen when life has left us dazed and bewildered. Your Father will, in time, heal your grief, your disappointment and your heartache. In the meantime, He doesn't send help; He comes to you. He is especially near His struggling child, supporting you, helping you. If you listen above the roar of the immediate pain, you can hear Him say, "I'll help you get through this, just trust me." And, He did.

Thought for the week: About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. -- Herbert Hoover

Funny for the week: After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"

"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

Humor

* * * * * *

"Two fellows were driving a delivery truck down a road when they came to a tunnel. The sign above said: 'Warning: Maximum Height 10 feet zero inches,' so they got out and measured their truck. Unfortunately, the truck was just over 12 feet high.

"They didn't know what to do, when finally one of them looked in both directions and said, 'I don't see any police, let's go for it!'"

Daily Encounter

I think they were from Hudson, not Lenoir......................... Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: How many days did water flood the earth in Genesis? 150 days (Gen 7:24)

This week’s question: What was the garment of John the Baptist made of?

September 15, 2008

"So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6:34

(Today I preach to the preacher. This devotion is for me but you are welcome to read it.) "The best way to ruin today is to worry about tomorrow. It is so common for me to do this, to carry the imagined or real worries of tomorrow on my back today. The result is I am blinded to the blessings of today because I am obsessed about what might happen tomorrow. Barnes, it will sap you of energy and joy because you are carrying two days worth of concern. Tomorrow comes and then you start stewing about the next tomorrow and the cycle starts again. Jesus gave you some practical advice about this and He wants you to obey it! Focus on today; spiritually, physically and emotionally. Refuse to frighten yourself about tomorrow. God will help you here because He knows your weakness. Barnes, before you go to sleep tonight, have a little celebration with your Father. Remember all the blessings that He sent today, remember how He helped you with the problems. Then thank Him that He will bless you tomorrow the same way. As you do this, you will be amazed at the confidence you will have to face the challenges of tomorrow, when tomorrow comes; not before."

Thought for the week: Perhaps in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own. -- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Funny for the week: "Worry"
A golf pro dragged himself into the clubhouse looking as though he'd just escaped a tornado.

"What's wrong?" a woman asked.

"I just lost a game to Houlihan," the pro said.

"What? But Houlihan's the worst player I've ever seen. How could he have beaten you?"

"He tricked me," the pro said. "On the first tee, he asked for a handicap. I told him he could have 30, 40, 50 strokes - any handicap he wanted. He said, 'Just give me two gotchas.'"

"What's a gotcha?" asked the woman.

"That's what I wanted to know," the pro said. "Houlihan said, 'You'll see.' Then, as I was teeing off, just as I had my club poised, he grabbed my shorts and gave me a wedgie and screamed out 'Gotcha!'"

"I can guess what happened," the woman said.

"Sure," the pro said. "That gotcha threw me off, and I missed the ball completely."

"Understandable," the woman said. "But still, that's only one swing. How did he win the game?"

The pro answered, "I couldn't swing well the rest of the game because I was watching out for that second 'gotcha!'"

I know a few people who give me "gotcha’s"………..Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What relative was Lot to Abraham? Nephew (Gen 12:5)

This week’s question: How many days did water flood the earth in Genesis?

FROM CHAPLAIN BARNES On-the-Job Inspiration, Humor Challenge and Encouragement. You are invited to copy and share these notes with others so long as it is not for profit.

September 8, 2008

My devotional this week is a prayer sent to me by my friend Joe G. Please think about it as you read it and see if like me, you need to pray it out loud.

Heavenly Father,

Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and was rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not just to those who are close to us but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judgment and quick to forgiveness and patience and empathy and love.

AMEN

Thought for the week: Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.
-- Thomas Fuller

Funny for the week: "A Simple Explanation of Baseball"

This is a game played by two teams, one out the other in. The one that's in, sends players out one at a time, to see if they can get in before they get out. If they get out before they get in, they come in, but it doesn't count. If they get in before they get out it does count.

When the ones out get three outs from the ones in before they get in without being out, the team that's out comes in and the team in goes out to get those going in out before they get in without being out.

When both teams have been in and out nine times the game is over. The team with the most in without being out before coming in wins unless the ones in are equal. In which case, the last ones in go out to get the ones in out before they get in without being out.

The game will end when each team has the same number of ins out but one team has more in without being out before coming in.

Now, that was simple enough wasn’t it ………Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What was another name for Bethlehem? Ephrath (Gen 35:19)

This week’s question: What relative was Lot to Abraham?

September 1, 2008 #494

"For I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content. I know how to live in abundance, I know how to live in need...I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13 Edited

When I was in Texas doing my graduate work, we used to joke that because of that verse, we knew Paul was not from Texas, because no one from Texas would be content anywhere but in Texas. Contentment. That elusive state where we perceive everything is in harmony and balance. And then along comes change and our contentment crashes around us and we are miserable. We resent the change because we are longing for a future Utopia where everything is consistent and non-threatening. We beg God to hurry up and change the circumstances and when he does, we soon began looking for reasons why we don't like our new circumstances and the cycle starts all over again. Contentment becomes that illusive dream we can never obtain. Paul tells us it is not necessarily the circumstances but our inner misery of discontentment causing our anguish. Only our Father can release us from this problem. Only He can readjust our attitude and help us to focus on the way that He has and is blessing us. He can help us accept our present lot and wait patiently until He changes our circumstances. And, when He does, it will always be at His perfect time and in His perfect way. Until then, practice contentment knowing who is in control.

Thought for the week: Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything. -- Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle

Funny for the week: "Origin of Mankind"

A little girl asked her father, "How did the human race come about?"

The father answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind was made."

Two days later she asks her mother the same question.

The mother answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them."

The confused girl returns to her father and says: "Dad, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Mom says we developed from monkeys?"

The Father answers, "That's simple, honey. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your mother told you about her side."

Sure am glad my wife does not read these………….Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What kind of wood was Noah’s ark made of? Gopher wood (Gen 6:14)

This week’s question: What was another name for Bethlehem?