March 29, 2010

“Cast your burden upon the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22

Be honest now! Just think with me for a moment. What if? What if you never had a worry or care? Would you act any different? Would you do anything different? I would. If I had absolutely no care or worry in the world I would be the most arrogant, self righteous, flagrant, flamboyant, fool that ever lived. If there were never times when I had done all I could do and nothing works and I had to totally trust the Lord, then He would not be necessary. If I could solve all my problems and fix all my worries I would never cry out to God and understand his power and care for me. I would never pray or search the scriptures for promises or comfort – why bother? I would become a very self centered thankless creature who learned creative ways to pat himself on the back all the time. I would never experience the godly serenity that comes when I totally turn something over the Lord. The truth is, we all do worry and have cares. We are not the master of our own fate. We are not capable of handling all our affairs or defending ourselves from natural and supernatural assaults. There are those times when we must totally trust the Lord because we are not God and He is. It is part of His design to show us that He really does care for us, and that we really are the apple of His eye and the delight of his heart. Feelings will try to tell us different, but faith will always point us to the promises He has given and which He always will keep. It is in faith we cast our burden upon the Lord, it is in faith we leave them there. Worry? Who me? I wish! But I am trying. How about you?

Thought for the week: Television has raised writing to a new low. -- Samuel Goldwyn

Funny for the week: “Kill him now or later?”
Three men worked in the Empire State Building on the 102nd floor. One day the elevator was out of service, so they had to walk up to their office. To pass the time, they decided that one would sing a song, one would tell a joke, and the third would tell a sad story - each taking a turn every floor until they reached the top. Finally, as they reached the 100th floor, one man sang his last song. As they reached the 101st floor, the second guy told his last joke. As they ascended the flight to the 102nd floor, the third man said, "I forgot the key."
Guess who gets to sit on the steps and who gets to do back down?....... Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: What 16th century Protestant reformer was excommunicated partly because of a paper which he tacked up on his parish door? Martin Luther
This week’s question: Jesus told his disciples not to tell anyone about their vision of the Transfiguration until what had happened?

March 22, 2010

“When you are angry, do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” Ephesians 4:26

Did you know it is not Biblical to tell someone “now don’t get mad”? Godly anger has its place. We are to be angry when injustice prevails and innocent people suffer or die. We are to be angry when evil sows it thorns of death and destruction on people’s lives. We are to be angry about things God is angry about. But there is always a catch it seems and so does Biblical anger. While we are being angry, we must not sin. We must control our anger and focus it to correct problems and defend the helpless. We sin when we allow the anger to control us. Controlled anger is splitting an atom inside a controlled reactor in a power plant and producing electricity. Uncontrolled anger is splitting an atom uncontrolled in a bomb and destroying everything in an entire city. How are you with anger? Controlled or uncontrolled? When you see the pettiness, rudeness or evil of others, how do you react? When someone bumps you, what spills out? Do we use our anger to carve up other people, cut them down and inflict all the damage we can or do we use anger to fight for right and correct injustice? Do we turn the anger inward and experience deep depression (depression is anger turned inward) or in love confront the offender and seek restored harmony? Since God made us, He also knew the effect anger would have on us and those around us, so he limited the time we could use it. Anger must be resolved quickly and completely or like unchecked bugs in a potato patch, it will destroy us. Anger can be a powerful motivator to push us to fight evil and wrong, or it can be a deadly villain to wreck havoc and destruction on us and those around us. Be angry about what makes God angry, but leave no place for it to control you before the sun goes down; make peace because “Blessed are the peace-makers.”

Thought for the week: By the time we've made it, we've had it. -- Malcolm Forbes

Funny for the week: How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:

"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."

"Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

"I am a rabid typist."

"Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."

"Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."

"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

"Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."

"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."

"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."

"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

"Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant."

"I am loyal to my employer at all costs...Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voicemail."

"Qualifications: No education or experience."

"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

"Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"

Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"

I believe every word of it………….. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Who sacrificed to God 22,000 oxen and 120,00 sheep? Solomon (1 Kings 8:63)

This week’s question: What 16^th century Protestant reformer was excommunicated partly because of a paper which he tacked up on his parish door?

March 15, 2010

Today I would like to share some “Spiritual Food for Thought” taken from the Tar Heel Gideon. It is written by Ted Self.

1. Give God what is right, not what is left
2. “Pray” is a four letter word that you can say anywhere (except in a public school)
3. Man’s way leads to a hopeless end. God’s way leads to an endless hope.
4. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
5. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
6. To be almost saved is to be totally lost.
7. We’re too blessed to be depressed.
8. Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.
9. God loves everyone, but probably prefers “fruits of the spirit” over “religious nuts.”
10. God grades on the cross, not the curve.
11. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come on into church for a faith lift.
12. Prayer – don’t give God instructions – just report for duty.
13. God doesn’t want shares of your life, He wants controlling interest.
14. Don’t wait for six strong men to take you to church.
15. A family altar can alter a family.
16. We don’t change the message, the message changes us.
17. This Church is “Prayer Conditioned.”
18. When God ordains, He sustains.
19. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
20. Most people want to serve God – but only in an advisory capacity.
21. Having truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
22. Exercise daily – walk with the Lord.
23. Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
24. Wisdom has two parts: A) Having a lot to say. B) Not saying it.
25. Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive.
26. Watch your step carefully. Everyone else does.
27. A clean conscience makes a soft pillow.
28. Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it.
29. You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
30. He who is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
31. Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
32. He who angers you controls you!
33. Worry is the darkroom in which “negatives” are developed.
34. Give Satan an inch and he’ll be a ruler.
35. Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
36. Be ye fishers of men, you catch them, He will clean them.
37. Deciding not to choose is still making a choice.
38. God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
39. If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!

Thought for the week: Normal is:

"Normal" is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.

Funny for the week: Sign Fun*

On a California freeway:
Fine for Littering

In the window of an Atlanta clothing store:
Sid's Pants is Open

On the wall of a British Columbia cleaning service:
Able to Do the Worst Possible Job

In a New York jewelry store:
Genuine Fauz Pearls

In a Kansas City oculist's office:
Broken Lenses Duplicated Here

In a Boston fast-food parking lot:
Parking for Drive-Through Customers Only

Billboard on Florida highway:
If You Can't Read, We Can Help

On the Triborough Bridge in New York:
In Event of Air Attack Drive Off Bridge

On a Lockhart, Texas, gas station and minimart:
We're out of Rolaids, but we've got gas.

At the basketball court in a Gastonton, North Carolina, YMCA:
Anyone caught hanging from the rim will be suspended

On the door of an Ellsworth, Maine, restaurant:
The Indian Trading Post will be closed for Yom Kippur

In a Grand Rapids restaurant:
Half baked chicken

In a Dayton barbershop:
During vacation of owner, a competent hair stylist will be here

On a Jacksonville, Florida, bookstore:
Rare, out-of-print, and nonexistent books

On a library in Marlboro, New Hampshire, honoring Robert Frost:
Frost Free Library

Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Not counting the author of Hebrews, how many men are responsible for writing the books of the New Testament? 8 – Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Paul, Peter, James, Jude.

This week’s question: Who sacrificed to God 22,000 oxen and 120,00 sheep?

March 8, 2010

But the fruit of the Spirit is …...” Galatians 5:22

The supposedly “king of rock in roll” named Elvis once sang about being “all shook up.” I got to thinking about that and wondered, what comes out of me when I get “all shook up?” Imagine someone holding a full cup of coffee and having someone bump their elbow. What comes out of the cup? Only what is inside the cup splashes out. Not milk or juice but coffee. What about you and me? What is inside us that splashes out when we get verbally or emotionally bumped at home or work? Does anger, resentment, foul language or gossip spew from our mouth or does gentleness, kindness, meekness and forgiveness? God’s desire is to conform us to the image of his son and when Jesus had hectic days he NEVER was short or rude with anyone. Even on the cross dying a horrible death he did not curse or berate, but prayed for those who were killing and tormenting him. Your faith is not put to the test sitting in a church pew with people who care about you. It is molded and tested on the rough and hectic days when you get bumped and shoved by people who are seemingly intent on making you miserable. When they bump you, what comes out? Listen to your words next time. Are they fruit of the spirit or fruit of the flesh words.

Thought for the week: Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. -- Don Marquis

Funny for the week: ”Locker Room Call”

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk.
MAN: "Hello."
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it okay if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2011 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$60,000."
MAN: "Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing, the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
Moral of the story? Don’t play golf………….. Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Complete the following verse from Psalm 136: “O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good; for his mercy endureth forever.”
This week’s question: Not counting the author of Hebrews, how many men are responsible for writing the books of the New Testament?