January 28, 2008

No. 461

FROM CHAPLAIN BARNES On-the-Job Inspiration, Humor Challenge and Encouragement. You are invited to copy and share these notes with others so long as it is not for profit.

"The apostles said to the Lord, 'Increase our faith.' The Lord replied, 'If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, be uprooted and planted in the sea, and it would obey you.'" Luke 17:5-6

This devotion if for me today. You are welcome to look over my shoulder if you wish, but if it doesn't apply to you, allow me preach to myself today. Thank you.

Sometimes when I pray, Lord, I catch myself giving up before I even finish the prayer. I pray, but on the inside I am doubting that the prayer will be answered. At least not as I have asked it. I can pray with total confidence about everyday stuff you know, "Watch over the kids, thank you for the food," and so on, but when an extraordinary need comes, the doubts churn inside. I am so glad in the above verse you teach me that Jesus was patient with his disciples when their faith was small. He understood their spiritual struggles, and He understands mine. I guess the issue is not whether I have a lot of faith. The issue is whether I use the faith I have. According to the above verse, the size of my faith takes backseat to the use of my faith. My cry then becomes like the one the father in Mark 9 stated so well. "I do believe, help me not to doubt!"

Thought for the week: A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. -- Burt Bacharach

Funnies for the week: Dedicated to my Pastor, Mike...(My notes in parentheses)

"Top Ten Signs You're in for a Long Sermon."

10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler. (Looked under ours lately?)

9. The pews have camper hookups. (We removed them when we got carpet remember?)

8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few (dozen!) extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon. (We have a whole case back there!)

7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.(No, but our boys do)

6. The preacher breaks for an intermission. (When we go over 2 hours, we'll need one)

5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus. (Good Idea!)

4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet. (Your notebook is pretty full lately)

3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys. (We did pad the pews remember!)

2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass. (When did you ever look at a watch anyway?)

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE IN FOR A LONG SUNDAY SERMON

1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the super bowl" but it's only November! (I rest my case!)

A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall , blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report.

She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"

I just had to didn’t I………..Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Who was the mother of Jacob and Esau? Rebecca (Gen 25:19-26)

This week’s question: How long did Jacob work for Laban to receive the hand of Rachel?