"But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man(woman) does not achieve the righteousness of God." James 1:19-20 (Parenthesis mine- tb)
Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn't notice it. A woman in the car behind him is watching traffic pass around them. The woman began pounding on her steering wheel and yelling at the man to move. The man didn't move. The woman went ballistic inside her car, ranting and raving at the man, pounding on her steering wheel and dash. The light turned yellow. The woman began to blow the car horn, flipped him off and screamed curses at the man. The man, hearing the commotion, looks up, saw the yellow light and accelerated through the intersection just as the light turned red. The woman was beside herself, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in 'mid-rant', she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the barrel of a gun held by a very serious looking policeman. The policeman told her to shut off her car while keeping both hands in sight. She complied, speechless at what was happening. After she shut off the engine, the policeman ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. She got out of the car and he ordered her to turn and place her hands on her car. She turned, placed her hands on the roof of her car and quickly was cuffed and was hustled into the patrol car. She was too bewildered by the chain of events to ask any questions and was driven to the police station where she was fingerprinted, photographed, searched, booked and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door for her. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the original officer was waiting with her personal effects. He handed her a bag containing her things and said, "I'm really sorry for this mistake. But you see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping that guy off and cussing a blue streak at the car in front of you, and then I noticed the "Choose Life" license plate holder, the "What Would Jesus Do" and "Follow Me to Sunday School" bumper stickers and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally I assumed that you had stolen someone else's car." (copied- author unknown)
Thought for the week: An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.
-- Henry Ford
Funny for the week: Life Explained...
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks passed. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years… How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'
But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back;
that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service……….. Chaplain Barnes
Last week’s answer: Who is the only male cousin of John the Baptist identified by name in the Bible? Jesus (Luke 1:36)
This week’s question: How long was Joseph imprisoned between the time he interpreted the dreams of the chief cupbearer and the time he interpreted the Pharaoh's dream?
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