November 3, 2008

"The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, to avoid the snares of death." Proverbs 14:27

DON'T DO IT!!! Someone reading this right now is about to willingly choose to enter into a wrong relationship or action. You remind me of a large picture a friend of mine told me about. It was the Grim Reaper placed on a sign which read, "An Easy Place To Die!" He said it was placed there by the authorities of Virginia Beach, at a particular spot where riptides were frequent and intense. According to the sign, 17 people had drowned there. To his amazement, 3 people had waded out there to fish, almost within 5 feet of the sign! As he said to me, "In the south we call this 'born ignorant and suffered a relapse!'" The Bible like that sign has some warnings about life that will benefit you by heeding. It's not that someone wants to cramp your style, it is just that there is a history here. Many people have gone ahead, ignored the warnings, and their life's hopes and dreams have been dashed and ruined. God is not trying to thwart you, or keep enjoyable things from you. It is just that He loves you so much that He doesn't want you to needlessly suffer bad consequences from ignoring His warnings. Please, Don't Go There!

Thought for the week: "Love is insanity with a collaborator."

Funny for the week: "Operator, I put in a quarter and didn’t get my number. The phone has kept my coin."

"Sir," she said, "if you give me your name and address, we’ll mail the coin to you."

I was appalled. "Operator," I said, "I think I can now understand the reason behind the difficulties of AT&T. You’re going to take the time and trouble to write down my name on a card and then you are probably going to give it to the person in charge of such matters. He will go to the cash register, punch it open, and take out a quarter, at the same time recording the reason for the cash withdrawal. Then he will take a slotted cardboard to hold the coin so it will not flop around in the envelope. Then he, or someone else, will place the card into an envelope, taking the time to write my name and address on it. Then the envelope will be sealed and have a first class stamp pasted on it. All that time and expense just to return a quarter. Now, Operator, why don’t you just return my coin and let’s be friends."

"Sir," she repeated in a flat voice, "if you give me your name and address, we will mail you the refund." Then, almost by way of afterthought, she said, "Sir, did you remember to press the coin return plunger?"

To tell the truth, I had overlooked this activity. I pressed the plunger. To my great surprise, it worked. But I think this phone had been constipated, as a river of coins began to spew out. There were so many I had to use my hat to collect them all.

Hearing all the noise, "Sir," said the Operator, "What is happening?"

"I told her that the phone return mechanism had malfunctioned, and I now had about four dollars in coins from the box."

"Sir," she said, "will you please put the coins back in the box."

"Operator," I said, "If you give me your name and address, I will be glad to mail you the coins."

Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul, ,by Norman Cousins, arr.

Better yet, call the PO-lice…………Chaplain Barnes

Last week’s answer: Which book in the Bible has the longest word in it? Isaiah 8:3 (Maher-shalal- has-baz)

This week’s question: To what race did the woman who met Jesus at the well belong?